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If you get murdered because you go on a date with someone you met on the Internet, you probably deserved it.

Andy Rooney

Once you pass forty, a dime isn’t worth bending over to pick up if you drop one.
ANDY ROONEY

Drop Oneself Worth
The biggest seller is cookbooks and the second is diet books – how not to eat what you’ve just learned how to cook.
ANDY ROONEY

Avoid Book Cook Learning
I’ve learned, That money doesn’t buy class.
ANDY ROONEY

Class Money Myself Standard
I’ve learned that everyone you meet deserves to be greeted with a smile.
ANDY ROONEY

Deserve Learning Myself Smile
Age is nothing but experience, and some of us are more experienced than others
ANDY ROONEY

Age Experience Level
If I’d known how many problems I was going to run into before I finished, I can’t remember a single project I would have started.
ANDY ROONEY

Finish Myself Problem Remember
Half the cookbooks tell you how to cook the food and the other half tell you how to avoid eating it.
ANDY ROONEY

Avoid Cook Eat Food Yourself
I’ve learned, That love, not time, heals all wounds.
ANDY ROONEY

Healing Love Myself Time Wound
Don’t you hate it when, your suitcase is the last one off the airplane?
ANDY ROONEY

Hate Last Luggage Oneself Yourself
Women realize it’s not worth buying an entire pig just to get a little sausage!
ANDY ROONEY

Buy Food Realization Woman Worth
If you get murdered because you go on a date with someone you met on the Internet, you probably deserved it.
ANDY ROONEY

Date Deserve Internet Meet Murder Yourself
We need people who can actually do things. We have too many bosses and too few workers.
ANDY ROONEY

Boss Need People Work
I’ve learned, That the easiest way for me to grow as a person is to surround myself with people smarter than I am.
ANDY ROONEY

Growth Learning Myself Person Smart
Most of us end up with no more than five or six people who remember us. Teachers have thousands of people who remember them for the rest of their lives.
ANDY ROONEY

End Live People Remember Teacher
A woman over 30 will never wake you in the middle of the night to ask, “What are you thinking?”. She doesn’t care what you think.
ANDY ROONEY

Care Herself Thinking Wake Up Woman
I had one typewriter for 50 years, but I have bought seven computers in six years. I suppose that’s why Bill Gates is rich, and Underwood is out of business.
ANDY ROONEY

Business Computer Myself Writing

If you get murdered because you go on a date with someone you met on the Internet, you probably deserved it.

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If you get murdered because you go on a date with someone you met on the Internet, you probably deserved it.

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