black
grey
blue
red
brown
white

The reason I love my dog so much is because when I come home, he’s the only one in the world who treats me like I’m the Beatles.

Bill Maher

They’re talking about banning cigarette smoking now in any place that’s used by ten or more people in a week, which, I guess, means that Madonna can’t even smoke in bed.
BILL MAHER

Ban Bed Myself People Smoking
If you have a few hundred followers and you let some of them molest children, they call you a cult leader. If you have a billion, they call you Pope.
BILL MAHER

Abuse Children Follower Leadership Yourself
We don’t really have to make fun of religion – it makes fun of itself.
BILL MAHER

Fun Joke Religion
The plain fact is: religion must die for mankind to live.
BILL MAHER

Death Fact Kind Live Man Plain Religion
You want to spend your millions on a worthless cause? Try donating it to the Democrats.
BILL MAHER

Democracy Donate Money Yourself
When I see the toothless guy, as a liberal, what I say is, ‘I want to help you get teeth.’ Why does that make me an a**hole?
BILL MAHER

Generosity Help Liberal Myself
I do think the patriotic thing to do is to critique my country. How else do you make a country better but by pointing out its flaws?
BILL MAHER

Better Country Flaw Myself Patriot Point Thinking
In the Republican party, crazy is a constituency.
BILL MAHER

Constituency Crazy Politics
In America, you’re allowed to justify almost any kind of bigotry, sexism, or intolerance if you source it to God’s big book of bad ideas.
BILL MAHER

Bad Connection Ideas Justify Kind Religious Tolerance Yourself
It’s very hard not to be condescending when you’re explaining something to an idiot.
BILL MAHER

Explanation Hard Idiot Yourself
If Jesus was a Jew, why did he have a Spanish name?
BILL MAHER

Identity Name Nature Origin
There is no debate here, just scientists and non-scientists. And since the subject is science, the non-scientists don’t get a vote.
BILL MAHER

Debate Right Science Subject Vote
I don’t know anyone less Jesus like than Christians.
BILL MAHER

Myself Religious
Halloween is a day when we all get to fool people into thinking we’re someone else. Or as Mitt Romney calls it, campaigning.
BILL MAHER

Call Celebration Fake Fools Ourselves People
If you have a gun, you can rob a bank, but if you have a bank, you can rob everyone.
BILL MAHER

Bank Funny Gun Weapon Yourself
Denying racism is the new racism.
BILL MAHER

New Race Trend

The reason I love my dog so much is because when I come home, he’s the only one in the world who treats me like I’m the Beatles.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

The reason I love my dog so much is because when I come home, he’s the only one in the world who treats me like I’m the Beatles.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

More Bill Maher Quotes