Our mistakes from the past are just that: mistakes. And they were necessary to make in order to become the wiser person we became.
BILL MAHERIf you believe that the world is going to come to an end – and perhaps any day now – does it not drain one’s motivation to improve life on earth while we’re here?
More Bill Maher Quotes
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I don’t say that I’m an atheist. I don’t like that term, because I think it mirrors the certitude of religion. I say I don’t know. And if you don’t know – and you don’t – just man up and say you don’t know. Don’t turn to silly stories and ancient myths.
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Suicide is man’s way of telling God, ‘You can’t fire me – I quit.’
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Like it or not, we’re still a primitive tribe ruled by fears, superstition and misinformation.
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Let’s face it; God has a big ego problem. Why do we always have to worship him?
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If you have a few hundred followers and you let some of them molest children, they call you a cult leader. If you have a billion, they call you Pope.
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You can’t pray away global warming, and that’s the difference between religious people and sane people.
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False hope really makes you cynical.
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Atheism is a religion the way abstinence is a sex position.
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Everything that used to be a sin is now a disease.
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We had a national tragedy this week, and the President of the United States and Sarah Palin both made speeches on the same day. Obama came out against lunatics with guns, she gave the rebuttal.
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America is like a dog. I’m sorry, but it is. It cannot understand actual words. It understands inflection. It understands fear. But you can’t actually explain issues to a dog.
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I have always defined political correctness as an elevation of sensitivity over truth.
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If you believe Jesus ever had a good word for war or torture or tax cuts for the rich, or raping the earth, or refusing water to dying migrants, then you might as well believe bunnies lay painted eggs.
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Faith means the purposeful suspension of critical thinking. It’s nothing to be admired.
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I don’t know anyone less Jesus like than Christians.
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I feel like I’m wearing orthopedic shoes, because I stand corrected.
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You want to spend your millions on a worthless cause? Try donating it to the Democrats.
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The First Amendment was specifically designed for citizens to insult politicians. Libel laws were written to protect law students speaking out on political issues from getting called whores by Oxycontin addicts.
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Sex is too easy for women to get, and too hard for men. I mean, honestly, for a man to walk into someplace and have every woman ready to take him home, he’d have to rule the world. A woman would have to do her hair.
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The younger generation is supposed to rage against the machine, not for it. They’re supposed to question authority, not question those who question authority.
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Women cannot complain about men anymore until they start getting better taste in them.
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The whole dating ritual was different when I was a kid. Girls got pinned, not nailed.
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We have the Bill of Rights. What we need is a Bill of Responsibilities.
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The cable TV sex channels don’t expand our horizons, don’t make us better people, and don’t come in clearly enough.
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Can we go back to using Facebook for what it was originally for – looking up exes to see how fat they got?
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The Drug War is an addiction, really.
BILL MAHER