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Women realize it’s not worth buying an entire pig just to get a little sausage!

Andy Rooney

I don’t know anything offhand that mystifies Americans more than the cotton they put in pill bottles. Why do they do it? Are you supposed to put the cotton back in once you’ve taken a pill out?
ANDY ROONEY

Hands Mystery Pill Yourself
Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do don’t need to be done.
ANDY ROONEY

Computer Easy Need Work
People will generally accept facts as truth only if the facts agree with what they already believe.
ANDY ROONEY

Acceptance Believe Fact General People Truth
I’ve learned, That the less time I have to work with, the more things I get done.
ANDY ROONEY

Learning Myself Time Work
I’ve learned, That simple walks with my father around the block on summer nights when I was a child did wonders for me as an adult.
ANDY ROONEY

Adult Block Children Father Simple Summer Walk Wonder
We need people who can actually do things. We have too many bosses and too few workers.
ANDY ROONEY

Boss Need People Work
If you get murdered because you go on a date with someone you met on the Internet, you probably deserved it.
ANDY ROONEY

Date Deserve Internet Meet Murder Yourself
I’ve learned, That to ignore the facts does not change the facts.
ANDY ROONEY

Change Fact Ignorance Learning Myself
Never trust the food in a restaurant on top of the tallest building in town that spends a lot of time folding napkins.
ANDY ROONEY

Fold Food Restaurant Time Trust
I’ve learned that no one is perfect until you fall in love with them.
ANDY ROONEY

Fall In Love Learning Myself Perfection
Death is a distant rumor to the young.
ANDY ROONEY

Death Distant One Liner Young
If dogs could talk it would take a lot of the fun out of owning one.
ANDY ROONEY

Dog Fun Oneself Talk
When those waiters ask me if I want some fresh ground pepper, I ask if they have any aged pepper.
ANDY ROONEY

Age Fresh Myself Wait
Do I have opinions that might piss people off? Yes – that’s what I’m here for.
ANDY ROONEY

Myself Opinion People
The third rule of life is this: Everything you buy today is smaller, more expensive, and not as good as it was yesterday.
ANDY ROONEY

Expensive Goodness Rule Small Yourself
Nothing in fine print is ever good news.
ANDY ROONEY

Goodness News Print

Women realize it’s not worth buying an entire pig just to get a little sausage!

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Women realize it’s not worth buying an entire pig just to get a little sausage!

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