Talk to women who’ve ever dated an Arab man. The results are not good.
BILL MAHERThe difference between the three Abrahamic religions: Christianity – mumbling to the ceiling, Judaism – mumbling to the wall, Islam – mumbling to the floor.
More Bill Maher Quotes
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A new cologne is coming out. It’s for cowboys, and it’s made from cow’s manure. That way the women will be on you like flies!
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Women cannot complain about men anymore until they start getting better taste in them.
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If you think you have it tough, read history books.
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The reason I love my dog so much is because when I come home, he’s the only one in the world who treats me like I’m the Beatles.
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Sex is too easy for women to get, and too hard for men. I mean, honestly, for a man to walk into someplace and have every woman ready to take him home, he’d have to rule the world. A woman would have to do her hair.
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If you want to get rich with a tax free enterprise that sells nothing, start a church.
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Men are only as loyal as their options.
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Jim Bakker spells his name with two k’s because three would be too obvious.
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We need more people speaking out. This country is not overrun with rebels and free thinkers. It’s overrun with sheep and conformists.
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The whole dating ritual was different when I was a kid. Girls got pinned, not nailed.
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The cable TV sex channels don’t expand our horizons, don’t make us better people, and don’t come in clearly enough.
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The “Power of One” is a slogan–not a goal.
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When opportunity knocks all some people can do is complain about the noise.
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If Jesus was a Jew, why did he have a Spanish name?
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At some point in the last 20 years, the left moved to the center, and the right moved into a mental institution.
BILL MAHER