If conservatives get to call universal healthcare ‘socialized medicine,’ I get to call private, for-profit healthcare ‘soulless, vampire bastards making money off human pain.’
BILL MAHERI think what’s dangerous is the idea that someone can wash away your sins.
More Bill Maher Quotes
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The reason I love my dog so much is because when I come home, he’s the only one in the world who treats me like I’m the Beatles.
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The “Power of One” is a slogan–not a goal.
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When you get people who are out of office, suddenly their tongues loosen up and suddenly they say the things that you wish they’d said or did when they were in office.
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Ninety percent of people support background checks. Which means even people who can’t pass a background check support background checks.
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The problem is that the people with the most ridiculous ideas are always the people who are most certain of them.
BILL MAHER -
What is it with conservatives? Seriously, I’m not trying to be partisan but it seems like if they’re anti-illegal alien, they have illegal aliens working for them. If they’re anti-gay, they turn out to be gay. If they’re super Christian, they’re a witch.
BILL MAHER -
Women cannot complain about men anymore until they start getting better taste in them.
BILL MAHER -
People have to stop saying that just because someone is an anti-gay activist they might be gay. They’re DEFINITELY GAY!!
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During the Depression, or back when we were fighting Hitler, people didn’t have time to sue a company if the coffee was too hot. There were urgent, pressing problems. If you think you have it tough, read history books.
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Trusting the government to monitor your calls without listening. It’s kind of like trusting Chris Christie to pick up the McDonald’s and not eat the fries on the way home.
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If anti-gay stuff is always coming out of your mouth, something very gay is probably going in.
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I feel like I’m wearing orthopedic shoes, because I stand corrected.
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We need more people speaking out. This country is not overrun with rebels and free thinkers. It’s overrun with sheep and conformists.
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Can we go back to using Facebook for what it was originally for – looking up exes to see how fat they got?
BILL MAHER -
It’s not getting any better for the American people. It seems to be getting worse. That’s predictable; education is a cycle. Stupidity breeds more stupidity.
BILL MAHER