Suicide is man’s way of telling God, ‘You can’t fire me – I quit.’
BILL MAHERReligion is insanity by consensus.
More Bill Maher Quotes
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Based on every statement I’ve heard out of any Republican in the last two years, the Israelis are controlling our government.
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I think flying planes into a building was a faith-based initiative. I think religion is a neurological disorder.
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The “Power of One” is a slogan–not a goal.
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A new cologne is coming out. It’s for cowboys, and it’s made from cow’s manure. That way the women will be on you like flies!
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The First Amendment was specifically designed for citizens to insult politicians. Libel laws were written to protect law students speaking out on political issues from getting called whores by Oxycontin addicts.
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Who takes care of their people better? FEMA or Hezbollah?
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When you get people who are out of office, suddenly their tongues loosen up and suddenly they say the things that you wish they’d said or did when they were in office.
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False hope really makes you cynical.
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If you believe Jesus ever had a good word for war or torture or tax cuts for the rich, or raping the earth, or refusing water to dying migrants, then you might as well believe bunnies lay painted eggs.
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I have always defined political correctness as an elevation of sensitivity over truth.
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I don’t know anyone less Jesus like than Christians.
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Hot women have to stop putting long paragraphs of text on their bodies. I know you think it’s sexy but one thing that men never think is, “Gee, you know what would make this sex better? Having something to read.”
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The true axis of evil in America is the brilliance of our marketing combined with the stupidity of our people.
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The plain fact is: religion must die for mankind to live.
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If conservatives get to call universal healthcare ‘socialized medicine,’ I get to call private, for-profit healthcare ‘soulless, vampire bastards making money off human pain.’
BILL MAHER