In an average moral universal society, good people will try to do the right thing, and psychotic people will do wicked things. But if you want to make good people do wicked things, you need them to be religious.
BILL MAHERIn Europe, Socialism is just another political party. It just means that government takes over certain things like hospitals, prisons, military and schools that should not be run for profit.
More Bill Maher Quotes
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To those people who say, ‘My father is alive because of animal experimentation,’ I say, ‘Yeah, well, good for you. This dog died so your father could live.’ Sorry, but I am just not behind that kind of trade-off.
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The reason I love my dog so much is because when I come home, he’s the only one in the world who treats me like I’m the Beatles.
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Emergency rooms will be used the way they were intended to be used: not for primary care, but for when the average freaky American get some strange object up his ass.
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Religion, to me, is a bureaucracy between man and God that I don’t need.
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The answer isn’t another pill. The answer is spinach.
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I feel terrible for a Palestinian child who dies. But, if it’s your father, your brother or your uncle who was firing those rockets into Israel, whose fault is it really? Do you really expect the Israelis not to retaliate?
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Religion is insanity by consensus.
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Faith means the purposeful suspension of critical thinking. It’s nothing to be admired.
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One of the advantages of atheism is takes so little of your time.
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If it weren’t for acid, you might not have an IPod, and you definitely would not have some of the best music in your IPod.
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Trusting the government to monitor your calls without listening. It’s kind of like trusting Chris Christie to pick up the McDonald’s and not eat the fries on the way home.
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America is like a dog. I’m sorry, but it is. It cannot understand actual words. It understands inflection. It understands fear. But you can’t actually explain issues to a dog.
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I feel like I’m wearing orthopedic shoes, because I stand corrected.
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If conservatives get to call universal healthcare ‘socialized medicine,’ I get to call private, for-profit healthcare ‘soulless, vampire bastards making money off human pain.’
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Men are only as loyal as their options.
BILL MAHER