But separate a man from his car – that’s inhuman.
TIM ALLENMen are pigs. Too bad we own everything.
More Tim Allen Quotes
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A guy knows he’s in love when he loses interest in his car for a couple of days.
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As the Chinese will tell you, history depends on your point of view.
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Jill, we became parents so we could tell our kids what to do. Otherwise we’re just the tallest people living here.
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I have to get a licence to drive a motorcycle to protect myself and the people around me. I am adamant there should be some sort of licensing required to have children.
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If it ain’t broke, you can probably still fix it.
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The big advantage to playing the Venetian in Las Vegas – where it’s a beautiful theater – is that unlike other places, even many other nice venues, I can do a set and lighting cues, I can put on a real show. I can dress up, wear a tux.
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While awaiting sentencing, I decided to give stand-up comedy a shot. The judge had suggested I get my act together, and I took him seriously.
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I’m a very bad student, but a great learner.
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Be wary of listening to stories secondhand.
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I do a lot of family shows.
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I don’t understand why it has to be either – or – either socialism or democracy. Why can’t we combine things to get the best of each system?
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I’m sad for adults who want to be children. And children who want to be adults.
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I have always enjoyed do-it-yourself projects, .. Being in a position to actually help design and bring tools to market is an incredible opportunity. Being able to fund charities as a result is phenomenal.
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Real men don’t use instructions, son. Besides, this is just the manufacturer’s opinion on how to put this together.
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I think there’s a percentage that don’t realize, that don’t know that [standup] is how everything began. We planned it, we work hard, rehearsals to get this. It’s more of a it’s not just coming in there in a T-shirt and holding a microphone.
TIM ALLEN