Men aren’t men until they can get to Sears by themselves.
TIM ALLENMy comedy is not mine. It’s a gift. I’m not that smart.
More Tim Allen Quotes
-
-
I am a thespian trapped in a man’s body.
TIM ALLEN -
I don’t understand why it has to be either – or – either socialism or democracy. Why can’t we combine things to get the best of each system?
TIM ALLEN -
Man is the only animal to borrow tools.
TIM ALLEN -
Nothing’s as easy as it is on a sitcom. Issues that we take care of in 20 minutes on the show can stretch out over years in real families.
TIM ALLEN -
I’m one of these guys that just spoils the environment. I like ATVs and snowmobiles. I have a motorcycle up there, and I like cruising through the hills.
TIM ALLEN -
If it ain’t broke, you can probably still fix it.
TIM ALLEN -
I have an only child. She’s so independent and good with adults.
TIM ALLEN -
Playing golf is like going to a strip joint. After 18 holes you are tired and most of your balls are missing.
TIM ALLEN -
For years, I just did not like this idea of God, church.
TIM ALLEN -
I’m actually more of a cat guy than a dog person because I travel so much. I love cats.
TIM ALLEN -
I’ve gotten so far past the Android and iPhones that I’m back to a flip-phone. It’s funny, you can buy antique flip-phones online. A lot of us collect them. Clearly, they’re considered antiques.
TIM ALLEN -
I’m a very bad student, but a great learner.
TIM ALLEN -
When I went to jail, reality hit so hard that it took my breath away, took my stance away, took my strength away. I was there buck naked, humiliated, sitting in my own crap and urine – this is a metaphor. My ego had run off. Your ego is the biggest coward.
TIM ALLEN -
When somebody tells you they’re not very smart, they’re saying exactly the opposite.
TIM ALLEN -
I know it sounds odd, but I want to make a Rolex-quality screwdriver.
TIM ALLEN