Brain: an apparatus with which we think we think.
AMBROSE BIERCEFidelity – a virtue peculiar to those who are about to be betrayed.
More Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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Marriage, n: the state or condition of a community consisting of a master, a mistress, and two slaves, making in all, two.
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Edible, adj.: Good to eat, and wholesome to digest, as a worm to a toad, a toad to a snake, a snake to a pig, a pig to a man, and a man to a worm.
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The partisan strife in which the people of the country are permitted to periodically engage does not tend to the development of ugly traits of character, but merely discloses those that preexist.
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REALISM, n. The art of depicting nature as it is seem by toads. The charm suffusing a landscape painted by a mole, or a story written by a measuring-worm.
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Selfish, adj. Devoid of consideration for the selfishness of others.
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Wine, madam, is God’s next best gift to man.
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Forgetfulness – a gift of God bestowed upon debtors in compensation for their destitution of conscience.
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Saint: A dead sinner revised and edited.
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Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.
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History is an account, mostly false, of events, mostly unimportant, which are brought about by rulers, mostly knaves, and soldiers, mostly fools.
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Debt, n. An ingenious substitute for the chain and whip of the slavedriver.
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To the eye of failure success is an accident.
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Age, with his eyes in the back of his head, thinks it wisdom to see the bogs through which he has floundered.
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He who thinks with difficulty believes with alacrity.
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Responsibility, n. A detachable burden easily shifted to the shoulders of God, Fate, Fortune, Luck or one’s neighbor. In the days of astrology it was customary to unload it upon a star.
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