Accordion, n. An instrument in harmony with the sentiments of an assassin.
AMBROSE BIERCEMayonnaise: One of the sauces which serve the French in place of a state religion.
More Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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Year: A period of three hundred and sixty-five disappointments.
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He who thinks with difficulty believes with alacrity.
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Philosophy: A route of many roads leading from nowhere to nothing.
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Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.
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They say that hens do cackle loudest when there is nothing vital in the eggs they have laid.
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The only distinction that democracies reward is a high degree of conformity.
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REALISM, n. The art of depicting nature as it is seem by toads. The charm suffusing a landscape painted by a mole, or a story written by a measuring-worm.
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Edible, adj.: Good to eat, and wholesome to digest, as a worm to a toad, a toad to a snake, a snake to a pig, a pig to a man, and a man to a worm.
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Divorce: a resumption of diplomatic relations and rectification of boundaries.
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Perseverance – a lowly virtue whereby mediocrity achieves an inglorious success.
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Politics: A strife of interests masquerading as a contest of principles. The conduct of public affairs for private advantage.
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Knowledge is the small part of ignorance that we arrange and classify.
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Selfish, adj. Devoid of consideration for the selfishness of others.
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Mayonnaise: One of the sauces which serve the French in place of a state religion.
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Money. A blessing that is of no advantage to us excepting when we part with it.
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