The only distinction that democracies reward is a high degree of conformity.
AMBROSE BIERCEMIND, n. A mysterious form of matter secreted by the brain. Its chief activity consists in the endeavour to ascertain its own nature, the futility of the attempt being due to the fact that it has nothing but itself to know itself with.
More Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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Sweater, n.: garment worn by child when its mother is feeling chilly.
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An election is nothing more than the advanced auction of stolen goods.
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In our civilization, and under our republican form of government, intelligence is so highly honored that it is rewarded by exemption from the cares of office.
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In each human heart are a tiger, a pig, an ass and a nightingale. Diversity of character is due to their unequal activity.
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Year: A period of three hundred and sixty-five disappointments.
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Women of genius commonly have masculine faces, figures and manners. In transplanting brains to an alien soil God leaves a little of the original earth clinging to the roots.
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LIFE, n. A spiritual pickle preserving the body from decay. We live in daily apprehension of its loss; yet when lost it is not missed.
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Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.
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Marriage, n: the state or condition of a community consisting of a master, a mistress, and two slaves, making in all, two.
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RATIONAL, adj. Devoid of all delusions save those of observation, experience and reflection.
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Scriptures – The sacred books of our holy religion, as distinguished from the false and profane writings on which all other faiths are based.
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Opposition, n. In politics the party that prevents the government from running amuck by hamstringing it.
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The covers of this book are too far apart.
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Bore, n. A person who talks when you wish him to listen.
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Conversation, n.: A vocal competition in which the one who is catching his breath is called the listener.
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