Pray: To ask the laws of the universe to be annulled on behalf of a single petitioner confessedly unworthy.
AMBROSE BIERCEMIND, n. A mysterious form of matter secreted by the brain. Its chief activity consists in the endeavour to ascertain its own nature, the futility of the attempt being due to the fact that it has nothing but itself to know itself with.
More Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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Don’t steal; thou’lt never thus compete successfully in business. Cheat.
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Optimist – A proponent of the doctrine that black is white.
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Democracy is four wolves and a lamb voting on what to have for lunch.
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RATIONAL, adj. Devoid of all delusions save those of observation, experience and reflection.
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Quotation, n: The act of repeating erroneously the words of another.
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They say that hens do cackle loudest when there is nothing vital in the eggs they have laid.
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All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusions is called a philosopher.
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You don’t have to be stupid to be a Christian, but it probably helps.
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Marriage, n: the state or condition of a community consisting of a master, a mistress, and two slaves, making in all, two.
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To the eye of failure success is an accident.
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PAIN, n. An uncomfortable frame of mind that may have a physical basis in something that is being done to the body, or may be purely mental, caused by the good fortune of another.
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Age, with his eyes in the back of his head, thinks it wisdom to see the bogs through which he has floundered.
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The partisan strife in which the people of the country are permitted to periodically engage does not tend to the development of ugly traits of character, but merely discloses those that preexist.
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Education, n.: That which discloses to the wise and disguises from the foolish their lack of understanding.
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Fear has no brains; it is an idiot.
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