black
grey
blue
red
brown
white

Optimist – A proponent of the doctrine that black is white.

Ambrose Bierce

Pray: To ask the laws of the universe to be annulled on behalf of a single petitioner confessedly unworthy.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Confession Law Prayer Universe Worth
Mausoleum, n: the final and funniest folly of the rich.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Final Funny Rich
Women of genius commonly have masculine faces, figures and manners. In transplanting brains to an alien soil God leaves a little of the original earth clinging to the roots.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Appearance Earth Face Genius God Leaving Nature Original Root Woman
LIFE, n. A spiritual pickle preserving the body from decay. We live in daily apprehension of its loss; yet when lost it is not missed.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Body Life Missing Spiritual
RATIONAL, adj. Devoid of all delusions save those of observation, experience and reflection.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Delusion Experience Observation Reflection Save
REALISM, n. The art of depicting nature as it is seem by toads. The charm suffusing a landscape painted by a mole, or a story written by a measuring-worm.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Art Charm Measurement Nature Worm
Eulogy. Praise of a person who has either the advantages of wealth and power, or the consideration to be dead.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Death Money Person Praise Wealth
Marriage, n: the state or condition of a community consisting of a master, a mistress, and two slaves, making in all, two.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Community Marriage Master Mistress Slave
History is an account, mostly false, of events, mostly unimportant, which are brought about by rulers, mostly knaves, and soldiers, mostly fools.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Fake Fools History Important Rule
True, man does not know woman. But neither does woman.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Man Philosophy True Woman
In each human heart are a tiger, a pig, an ass and a nightingale. Diversity of character is due to their unequal activity.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Activity Diversity Equality Heart Human
Abstainer: a weak person who yields to the temptation of denying himself a pleasure.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Happiness Temptation Weakness
Wine, madam, is God’s next best gift to man.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Best Gift God Man
Money. A blessing that is of no advantage to us excepting when we part with it.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Blessing Exception Leaving Money
Debt, n. An ingenious substitute for the chain and whip of the slavedriver.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Drive Slave Substitute
Death is not the end. There remains the litigation over the estate.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Death End Estate Himself

Optimist – A proponent of the doctrine that black is white.

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Optimist – A proponent of the doctrine that black is white.

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