Future. That period of time in which our affairs prosper, our friends are true and our happiness is assured.
AMBROSE BIERCEOptimist – A proponent of the doctrine that black is white.
More Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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RATIONAL, adj. Devoid of all delusions save those of observation, experience and reflection.
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The covers of this book are too far apart.
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Quotation, n: The act of repeating erroneously the words of another.
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Fidelity – a virtue peculiar to those who are about to be betrayed.
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An election is nothing more than the advanced auction of stolen goods.
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Dawn: When men of reason go to bed.
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Responsibility, n. A detachable burden easily shifted to the shoulders of God, Fate, Fortune, Luck or one’s neighbor. In the days of astrology it was customary to unload it upon a star.
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April fool, n. The March fool with another month added to his folly.
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The only distinction that democracies reward is a high degree of conformity.
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A person who doubts himself is like a man who would enlist in the ranks of his enemies and bear arms agains himself. He makes his failure certain by himself being the first person to be convinced of it.
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Saint: A dead sinner revised and edited.
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History is an account, mostly false, of events, mostly unimportant, which are brought about by rulers, mostly knaves, and soldiers, mostly fools.
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ULTIMATUM, n. In diplomacy, a last demand before resorting to concessions.
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Love: A temporary insanity curable by marriage.
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Corporation: An ingenious device for obtaining profit without individual responsibility.
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There are two instruments worse than a clarinet – two clarinets.
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Coward: One who, in a perilous emergency, thinks with his legs.
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Scriptures – The sacred books of our holy religion, as distinguished from the false and profane writings on which all other faiths are based.
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IMAGINATION, n. A warehouse of facts, with poet and liar in joint ownership.
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Present, n. That part of eternity dividing the domain of disappointment from the realm of hope.
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The partisan strife in which the people of the country are permitted to periodically engage does not tend to the development of ugly traits of character, but merely discloses those that preexist.
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Conservative, n: A statesman who is enamored of existing evils, as distinguished from the Liberal who wishes to replace them with others.
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Religion. A daughter of Hope and Fear, explaining to Ignorance the nature of the Unknowable.
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REALISM, n. The art of depicting nature as it is seem by toads. The charm suffusing a landscape painted by a mole, or a story written by a measuring-worm.
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ARMOR, n. The kind of clothing worn by a man whose tailor is a blacksmith.
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Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.
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