Money. A blessing that is of no advantage to us excepting when we part with it.
AMBROSE BIERCELove: A temporary insanity curable by marriage.
More Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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LIFE, n. A spiritual pickle preserving the body from decay. We live in daily apprehension of its loss; yet when lost it is not missed.
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Year: A period of three hundred and sixty-five disappointments.
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Ambition. An overmastering desire to be vilified by enemies while living and made ridiculous by friends when dead.
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Saint: A dead sinner revised and edited.
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Democracy is four wolves and a lamb voting on what to have for lunch.
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Pray: To ask the laws of the universe to be annulled on behalf of a single petitioner confessedly unworthy.
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ULTIMATUM, n. In diplomacy, a last demand before resorting to concessions.
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Vote: the instrument and symbol of a freeman’s power to make a fool of himself and a wreck of his country.
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What is a democrat? One who believes that the republicans have ruined the country. What is a republican? One who believes that the democrats would ruin the country.
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True, man does not know woman. But neither does woman.
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In our civilization, and under our republican form of government, intelligence is so highly honored that it is rewarded by exemption from the cares of office.
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PAIN, n. An uncomfortable frame of mind that may have a physical basis in something that is being done to the body, or may be purely mental, caused by the good fortune of another.
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Accordion, n. An instrument in harmony with the sentiments of an assassin.
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Edible, adj.: Good to eat, and wholesome to digest, as a worm to a toad, a toad to a snake, a snake to a pig, a pig to a man, and a man to a worm.
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Perseverance – a lowly virtue whereby mediocrity achieves an inglorious success.
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A person who doubts himself is like a man who would enlist in the ranks of his enemies and bear arms agains himself. He makes his failure certain by himself being the first person to be convinced of it.
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Opposition, n. In politics the party that prevents the government from running amuck by hamstringing it.
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Patience, n. A minor form of dispair, disguised as a virtue.
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He who thinks with difficulty believes with alacrity.
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MIND, n. A mysterious form of matter secreted by the brain. Its chief activity consists in the endeavour to ascertain its own nature, the futility of the attempt being due to the fact that it has nothing but itself to know itself with.
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Mausoleum, n: the final and funniest folly of the rich.
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Politics: A strife of interests masquerading as a contest of principles. The conduct of public affairs for private advantage.
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Labor is one of the processes by which A acquires property for B.
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Philosophy: A route of many roads leading from nowhere to nothing.
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Fidelity – a virtue peculiar to those who are about to be betrayed.
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Absurdity, n.: A statement or belief manifestly inconsistent with one’s own opinion.
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