Optimism – the doctrine or belief that everything is beautiful, including what is ugly.
AMBROSE BIERCEMarriage, n: the state or condition of a community consisting of a master, a mistress, and two slaves, making in all, two.
More Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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Bore, n. A person who talks when you wish him to listen.
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Scriptures – The sacred books of our holy religion, as distinguished from the false and profane writings on which all other faiths are based.
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Vote: the instrument and symbol of a freeman’s power to make a fool of himself and a wreck of his country.
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Responsibility, n. A detachable burden easily shifted to the shoulders of God, Fate, Fortune, Luck or one’s neighbor. In the days of astrology it was customary to unload it upon a star.
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Absurdity, n.: A statement or belief manifestly inconsistent with one’s own opinion.
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There is nothing new under the sun but there are lots of old things we don’t know.
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Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.
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Present, n. That part of eternity dividing the domain of disappointment from the realm of hope.
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Politics: A strife of interests masquerading as a contest of principles. The conduct of public affairs for private advantage.
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MIND, n. A mysterious form of matter secreted by the brain. Its chief activity consists in the endeavour to ascertain its own nature, the futility of the attempt being due to the fact that it has nothing but itself to know itself with.
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The covers of this book are too far apart.
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Aborigines, n.: Persons of little worth found cumbering the soil of a newly discovered country. They soon cease to cumber; they fertilize.
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An election is nothing more than the advanced auction of stolen goods.
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Perseverance – a lowly virtue whereby mediocrity achieves an inglorious success.
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He who thinks with difficulty believes with alacrity. A fool is a natural proselyte, but he must be caught young, for his convictions, unlike those of the wise, harden with age.
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