Mausoleum, n: the final and funniest folly of the rich.
AMBROSE BIERCETrue, man does not know woman. But neither does woman.
More Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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The only distinction that democracies reward is a high degree of conformity.
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Money. A blessing that is of no advantage to us excepting when we part with it.
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Optimist – A proponent of the doctrine that black is white.
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PITY, n. A failing sense of exemption, inspired by contrast.
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Conservative, n: A statesman who is enamored of existing evils, as distinguished from the Liberal who wishes to replace them with others.
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RUMOR, n. A favorite weapon of the assassins of character.
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Absurdity, n.: A statement or belief manifestly inconsistent with one’s own opinion.
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Aborigines, n.: Persons of little worth found cumbering the soil of a newly discovered country. They soon cease to cumber; they fertilize.
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Vote: the instrument and symbol of a freeman’s power to make a fool of himself and a wreck of his country.
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Marriage, n: the state or condition of a community consisting of a master, a mistress, and two slaves, making in all, two.
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Don’t steal; thou’lt never thus compete successfully in business. Cheat.
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Prescription: A physician’s guess at what will best prolong the situation with least harm to the patient.
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Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.
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True, man does not know woman. But neither does woman.
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Patience, n. A minor form of dispair, disguised as a virtue.
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