Brain: an apparatus with which we think we think.
AMBROSE BIERCEOcean: A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man – who has no gills.
More Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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What is a democrat? One who believes that the republicans have ruined the country. What is a republican? One who believes that the democrats would ruin the country.
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RUMOR, n. A favorite weapon of the assassins of character.
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Distance, n. The only thing that the rich are willing for the poor to call theirs and keep.
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Patience, n. A minor form of dispair, disguised as a virtue.
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Quotation, n: The act of repeating erroneously the words of another.
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He who thinks with difficulty believes with alacrity.
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Mad, adj. Affected with a high degree of intellectual independence.
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Aborigines, n.: Persons of little worth found cumbering the soil of a newly discovered country. They soon cease to cumber; they fertilize.
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Eloquence, n. The art of orally persuading fools that white is the color that it appears to be. It includes the gift of making any color appear white.
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Accordion, n. An instrument in harmony with the sentiments of an assassin.
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Religion. A daughter of Hope and Fear, explaining to Ignorance the nature of the Unknowable.
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Optimist – A proponent of the doctrine that black is white.
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April fool, n. The March fool with another month added to his folly.
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Prescription: A physician’s guess at what will best prolong the situation with least harm to the patient.
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ULTIMATUM, n. In diplomacy, a last demand before resorting to concessions.
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