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Ocean: A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man – who has no gills.

Ambrose Bierce

RATIONAL, adj. Devoid of all delusions save those of observation, experience and reflection.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Delusion Experience Observation Reflection Save
Death is not the end. There remains the litigation over the estate.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Death End Estate Himself
Scriptures – The sacred books of our holy religion, as distinguished from the false and profane writings on which all other faiths are based.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Faith Holy Ourselves Religion Scripture Writing
Marriage, n: the state or condition of a community consisting of a master, a mistress, and two slaves, making in all, two.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Community Marriage Master Mistress Slave
PAIN, n. An uncomfortable frame of mind that may have a physical basis in something that is being done to the body, or may be purely mental, caused by the good fortune of another.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Body Fortune Goodness Purity Uncomfortable
LIFE, n. A spiritual pickle preserving the body from decay. We live in daily apprehension of its loss; yet when lost it is not missed.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Body Life Missing Spiritual
Distance, n. The only thing that the rich are willing for the poor to call theirs and keep.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Call Distance Poor Rich Willing
April fool, n. The March fool with another month added to his folly.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Add Fools Funny Himself Time
Saint: A dead sinner revised and edited.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Death Edit Revision Sin
Knowledge is the small part of ignorance that we arrange and classify.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Arrangement Classification Ignorance Knowledge Small
Brain: an apparatus with which we think we think.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Brain Science Thinking
War is God’s way of teaching Americans geography.
AMBROSE BIERCE

God Place Teaching War
Politics: A strife of interests masquerading as a contest of principles. The conduct of public affairs for private advantage.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Advantage Affair Interest Principle Private
Electricity is the power that causes all natural phenomena not known to be caused by something else
AMBROSE BIERCE

Electricity Natural Reason
MIND, n. A mysterious form of matter secreted by the brain. Its chief activity consists in the endeavour to ascertain its own nature, the futility of the attempt being due to the fact that it has nothing but itself to know itself with.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Brain Fact Himself Mindset Mysterious Nature
Prescription: A physician’s guess at what will best prolong the situation with least harm to the patient.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Harm Patient Prescription Situation

Ocean: A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man – who has no gills.

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Ocean: A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man – who has no gills.

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