“The covers of this book are too far apart.”

Brain: an apparatus with which we think we think.

Saint: A dead sinner revised and edited.

Perseverance – a lowly virtue whereby mediocrity achieves an inglorious success.

Fidelity – a virtue peculiar to those who are about to be betrayed.

LAWYER, n. One skilled in circumvention of the law.

A person who doubts himself is like a man who would enlist in the ranks of his enemies and bear arms agains himself. He makes his failure certain by himself being the first person to be convinced of it.

ARMOR, n. The kind of clothing worn by a man whose tailor is a blacksmith.

Mayonnaise: One of the sauces which serve the French in place of a state religion.

Sweater, n.: garment worn by child when its mother is feeling chilly.

Age, with his eyes in the back of his head, thinks it wisdom to see the bogs through which he has floundered.

The partisan strife in which the people of the country are permitted to periodically engage does not tend to the development of ugly traits of character, but merely discloses those that preexist.

Fear has no brains; it is an idiot.

Coward: One who, in a perilous emergency, thinks with his legs.

Money. A blessing that is of no advantage to us excepting when we part with it.

Pray: To ask the laws of the universe to be annulled on behalf of a single petitioner confessedly unworthy.

Life – a spiritual pickle preserving the body from decay.

Every leaf of the tree becomes a page of the book, once the heart is opened and it has learnt to read.

Algebras (jabbre and maqabeleh) are geometric facts which are proved by propositions five and six of Book two of Elements.

I just clipped 2 articles from a current magazine. One is a diet guaranteed to drop 5 pounds off my body in a weekend. The other is a recipe for a 6 minute pecan pie.

The Bible is the cradle wherein Christ is laid.

Surely the immutable laws of the universe can teach more impressive and exalted lessons than the holy books of all the religions on earth.

As a child, my number one best friend was the librarian in my grade school. I actually believed all those books belonged to her.

But those who wish to prove to unbelievers that Scripture is the Word of God are acting foolishly, for only by faith can this be known.

There are many self-help books by Ph.D.s, but I hold a different degree: an I.B.T.I.A.-I’ve Been Through It All. This degree comes not on parchment but gauze, and it entitles me to tell you that there is a way to get through any misfortune.