Marriage, n: the state or condition of a community consisting of a master, a mistress, and two slaves, making in all, two.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Forgetfulness – a gift of God bestowed upon debtors in compensation for their destitution of conscience.
More Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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Marriage, n: the state or condition of a community consisting of a master, a mistress, and two slaves, making in all, two.
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Mausoleum, n: the final and funniest folly of the rich.
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Mad, adj. Affected with a high degree of intellectual independence.
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They say that hens do cackle loudest when there is nothing vital in the eggs they have laid.
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A person who doubts himself is like a man who would enlist in the ranks of his enemies and bear arms agains himself. He makes his failure certain by himself being the first person to be convinced of it.
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Vote: the instrument and symbol of a freeman’s power to make a fool of himself and a wreck of his country.
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April fool, n. The March fool with another month added to his folly.
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Alliance – in international politics, the union of two thieves who have their hands so deeply inserted in each other’s pockets that they cannot separately plunder a third.
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Debt, n. An ingenious substitute for the chain and whip of the slavedriver.
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Year: A period of three hundred and sixty-five disappointments.
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Brain: an apparatus with which we think we think.
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Electricity is the power that causes all natural phenomena not known to be caused by something else
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The partisan strife in which the people of the country are permitted to periodically engage does not tend to the development of ugly traits of character, but merely discloses those that preexist.
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PITY, n. A failing sense of exemption, inspired by contrast.
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True, man does not know woman. But neither does woman.
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There are two instruments worse than a clarinet – two clarinets.
AMBROSE BIERCE