I put instant coffee in a microwave oven and almost went back in time.
STEVEN WRIGHTThe older you get, the more you learn to see what you’ve been taught to see. When you’re a kid, you see what’s there.
More Steven Wright Quotes
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If at first you don’t succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
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Always remember your unique, just like everyone else.
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I was thinking that women should put pictures of missing husbands on beer cans.
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Why is the alphabet in that order? Is it because of that song?
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Whenever I think of the past, it brings back so many memories.
STEVEN WRIGHT -
Five out of four people have trouble with fractions.
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The older you get, the more you learn to see what you’ve been taught to see. When you’re a kid, you see what’s there.
STEVEN WRIGHT -
When I turned two I was really anxious, because I’d doubled my age in a year. I thought, if this keeps up, by the time I’m six I’ll be ninety.
STEVEN WRIGHT -
When I was a little kid we had a sand box. It was a quicksand box. I was an only child… eventually.
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No one is listening until you make a mistake.
STEVEN WRIGHT -
Why don’t they just make mouse-flavored cat food?
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It was the first time I was ever in love, and I learned a lot. Before that I’d never even thought about killing myself.
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How do you get off a non-stop flight?
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When I was in school the teachers told me practice makes perfect; then they told me nobody’s perfect so I stopped practicing.
STEVEN WRIGHT -
I couldn’t repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.
STEVEN WRIGHT