The phone company handles 84 billion calls a year-everything from kings, queens, and presidents to the scum of the earth.
LILY TOMLINI wanted to be a stage actress. I wanted to be a New York actress and have a community with other actors. I didn’t want to get famous; I always thought getting famous was a drag on you.
More Lily Tomlin Quotes
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If beauty is truth, why don’t women go to the library to have their hair done?
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Did you know, throughout the cosmos they found intelligent life forms that play to play? We are the only ones that play to win. Explains why we have more than our share of losers.
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Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain.
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9 to 5 made people aware of equal pay for equal work. It hasn’t really happened, but it has come closer.
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There’s nothing sadder than getting to the end of your life and saying, ‘I didn’t do it right’.
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If trying harder doesn’t work, try softer.
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The larger picture is really to swing people’s awareness of what really is moral.
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I wanted to be a stage actress. I wanted to be a New York actress and have a community with other actors. I didn’t want to get famous; I always thought getting famous was a drag on you.
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I bought a box of animal crackers, but there was nothing inside. They’d eaten each other.
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When we speak to God, we call it prayer; when God speaks back, we call it psychosis!
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If evolution was worth its salt, it should’ve evolved something better than ‘survival of the fittest.’ I think a better idea would be ‘survival of the wittiest.’ At least, that way, creatures that didn’t survive could’ve died laughing.
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If life is so meaningless, then why are we always bringing it up?
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The road to success is always under construction.
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I guess if people couldn’t profit from war I don’t think there would be war.
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Does your mind feel more and more like teflon? Nothing sticks to it?
LILY TOMLIN