Growing up in Michigan was fine, until I realized where I was.
LILY TOMLINWhat goes up must come down. But don’t expect it to come down where you can find it.
More Lily Tomlin Quotes
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There’s nothing sadder than getting to the end of your life and saying, ‘I didn’t do it right’.
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I guess if people couldn’t profit from war I don’t think there would be war.
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I try to be cynical, but it’s so hard to keep up.
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If beauty is truth, why don’t women go to the library to have their hair done?
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You are what you think, geez, that’s frightening.
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I still believe that sex is dirty. It’s just that now I wouldn’t have it any other way.
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I worry that the person who thought up Muzak may be thinking up something else.
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When we speak to God, we call it prayer; when God speaks back, we call it psychosis!
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I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific.
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Things are going to get a lot worse before they get worse.
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If evolution was worth its salt, it should’ve evolved something better than ‘survival of the fittest.’ I think a better idea would be ‘survival of the wittiest.’ At least, that way, creatures that didn’t survive could’ve died laughing.
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We are people with lives, not consumers with lifestyles.
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Infinity is just time on an ego trip.
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There’s so much plastic in this culture that vinyl leopard skin is becoming an endangered synthetic.
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I like a teacher who gives you something to take home to think about besides homework.
LILY TOMLIN