If beauty is truth, why don’t women go to the library to have their hair done?
LILY TOMLINWhat goes up must come down. But don’t expect it to come down where you can find it.
More Lily Tomlin Quotes
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Why is it that when we talk to God we’re said to be praying but when God talks to us we’re schizophrenic?
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There’s so much plastic in this culture that vinyl leopard skin is becoming an endangered synthetic.
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Even when I’m being funny, I’m deadly serious.
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When I am happy I feel like crying, but when I am sad I don’t feel like laughing. I think it is better to be happy; then you get two feelings for the price of one.
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Instead of working for the survival of the fittest, we should be working for the survival of the wittiest – then we can all die laughing.
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Language was invented because of the deep human need to complain.
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But there are too many people that make so much money at the cost of lives of other humans and for no reason but to make the money.
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Success is a ladder that cannot be climbed with your hands in your pocket – The road to success is always under construction.
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The road to success is always under construction.
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I worry about kids today – because of the sexual revolution, they’re going to grow up and never know what “dirty” means.
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In the depths of the night, fear grips my heart. It paralyzes my mind. But most of all, I feel very, very alone
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The larger picture is really to swing people’s awareness of what really is moral.
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To me, “sexual freedom” means freedom from having to have sex.
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If trying harder doesn’t work, try softer.
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Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain.
LILY TOMLIN