Even when I’m being funny, I’m deadly serious.
LILY TOMLINWhat goes up must come down. But don’t expect it to come down where you can find it.
More Lily Tomlin Quotes
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Exercise is for people who can’t handle drugs or alcohol.
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Infinity is just time on an ego trip.
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Why isn’t there a special name for the tops of your feet?
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You are what you think, geez, that’s frightening.
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Truth is, I’ve always been selling out. The difference is that in the past, I looked like I had integrity because there were no buyers.
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We have reason to believe that man first walked upright to free his hands for masturbation.
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For fast-acting relief try slowing down.
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It’s a more ridiculing, divisive humor today.
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If life is so meaningless, then why are we always bringing it up?
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Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain.
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Reality is the leading cause of stress among those in touch with it.
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Maybe if people started to listen, history would stop repeating itself.
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The best mind-altering drug is the truth.
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Growing up in Michigan was fine, until I realized where I was.
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Being a New Yorker is never having to say you are sorry.
LILY TOMLIN