Scientists believe they may have discovered a primitive form of life on Jupiter’s moon Europa. That primitive form of life? You guessed it, Frank Stallone.
NORM MACDONALDFew are more unhappy than those who have great ambition, but little energy to urge it into activity.
More Norm MacDonald Quotes
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I always told everybody the perfect joke would be where the setup and punch line were identical.
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I generally have a real strong idea or a strong punchline, and I just try to get to it by rambling around, as I don’t like to memorize words.
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The standard of morals is as variable as morals themselves; of which every nation has a different code, and every custom a different reading.
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We often suffer more from our fears, than from the dangers of our situation.
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In love, we are best pleased when we please others.
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Ignorance is better than knowledge misapplied.
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Few people love with the violence they hate.
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He that searches for praise will often find contempt.
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There are two things which a man should scrupulously avoid: giving advice that he would not follow, and asking advice when he is determined to pursue his own opinion.
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It is vain to complain of fortune while we fail in policy and conduct.
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There are two things at which most men are grieved: when their faults are exposed, and when their virtues are concealed.
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You know, with Hitler, the more I learn about that guy, the more I don’t care for him.
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A great cause of evil in the world is that men seldom think themselves criminal if they offer the same injustice to others that has been successfully practiced on themselves.
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I got my computer. The great thing about the computer is that you only need enough money to buy a computer and some food, and you’re all right. I don’t have to go to premières.
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Note to self: no matter how bad life gets, there’s always beer.
NORM MACDONALD






