With the ambitious, the failure of one expedient is the suggestion of another; but with the irresolute, defeat usually occasions abandonment of purpose.
NORM MACDONALDI think clever people think that poor people are stupid.
More Norm MacDonald Quotes
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You can’t love your team without hating another team.
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During misfortunes, nothing aggravates our condition more, than to be esteemed deserving of them.
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If you desire praise or esteem, endeavor to merit it.
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A great cause of evil in the world is that men seldom think themselves criminal if they offer the same injustice to others that has been successfully practiced on themselves.
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Ever see this? It’s a homeless guy but he’s got a dog… The dog’s really thrilled with this idea. The dog’s going, Hey pal, I can do this by myself pretty well. The longest walk in the world you got me on here.
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Comedy is surprises, so if you’re intending to make somebody laugh and they don’t laugh, that’s funny.
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Yeah man, they call gambling a disease, but it’s the only disease where you can win a bunch of money.
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There are two things at which most men are grieved: when their faults are exposed, and when their virtues are concealed.
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In math, you could get 100 percent. It was very fair. That’s what I liked about math. You could figure it out, and the teacher couldn’t have a stupid opinion about it.
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I don’t have any ambition.
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It is necessary to be tolerant, in order to be tolerated.
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You ever be having a really good dream, and then, uh- right in the middle of the dream you wake up, right in the best part of the dream? And there you are, back in your stinkin’ life again? Man, that’s rough, eh?
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I got my computer. The great thing about the computer is that you only need enough money to buy a computer and some food, and you’re all right. I don’t have to go to premières.
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I can’t be naturalistic enough to make it sound real. So instead, I just wander around aimlessly knowing that I’ll be funny enough with stream of consciousness until I get to the actual explosively funny part.
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The beginning of wisdom is the knowledge of folly.
NORM MACDONALD