Writer’s block is a fancy term made up by whiners so they can have an excuse to drink alcohol.
STEVE MARTINDon’t have sex man. It leads to kissing and pretty soon you have to start talking to them.
More Steve Martin Quotes
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There is one thing I would break up over, and that is if she caught me with another woman. I won’t stand for that.
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Some people have a way with words, and other people; oh, uh, not have way.
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The greatest thing you can do is surprise yourself.
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I could never be a woman, ’cause I’d just stay home and play with my breasts all day.
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It was essential that I never show doubt about what I was doing.
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I was deeply unhappy, but I didn’t know it because I was so happy all the time.
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Don’t have sex man. It leads to kissing and pretty soon you have to start talking to them.
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No art comes from the conscious mind.
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Thankfully, persistence is a great substitute for talent.
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First the doctor told me the good news: I was going to have a disease named after me.
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You have to get comfortable with your work, you really have to know what you’re doing, and it has to be almost boring to you to be able to do it well.
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When I die, now don’t think that I’m a nut, don’t want no fancy funeral, just one like old King Tut.
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I believe the United States should allow all foreigners in this country, provided they can speak our native language… Apache.
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I started a grease fire at McDonald’s – threw a match in the cook’s hair.
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I’ve got to keep breathing. It’ll be my worst business mistake if I don’t.
STEVE MARTIN