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Comedy is surprises, so if you’re intending to make somebody laugh and they don’t laugh, that’s funny.

Norm MacDonald

I got my computer. The great thing about the computer is that you only need enough money to buy a computer and some food, and you’re all right. I don’t have to go to premières.
NORM MACDONALD

Computer Enough Food Money Myself Need Right Technology Yourself
Imprudent restrictions often force youth farther than enticement would carry them; and careless limitation is frequently worse than no injunction.
NORM MACDONALD

Care Carry Force Limitation Restriction Worst Youth
All that weak people learn from disappointment, is less confidence in future enterprise.
NORM MACDONALD

Business Confidence Disappointment Future Learning People Weakness
I don’t know the difference between a hippie and a hipster but, it’s fun to watch either one of them get beat up.
NORM MACDONALD

Difference Fight Fun Myself See
I don’t really like politics that much. And I like the order and simplicity of sports. They have an ending. You can argue with your friends about it, but in the end you still like sports. I almost love the fantasy world of sports more than the real world.
NORM MACDONALD

End Fantasy Friendship Love Order Politics Simplicity Sports World
There are two things which a man should scrupulously avoid: giving advice that he would not follow, and asking advice when he is determined to pursue his own opinion.
NORM MACDONALD

Advice Avoid Determination Distance Himself Man Opinion Pursue
Back in the old days, a man could just get sick and die. Now they have to wage a battle. So my Uncle Bert is waging a courageous battle, which I’ve seen, because I go and visit him. And this is the battle: he’s lying in the hospital bed, with a thing in his arm, watching Matlock on the TV.
NORM MACDONALD

Battle Day Death Funny Hospital Man Myself Old Sick
They that are fated to be fools, have one consolation, that they are fated also to be ignorant of it.
NORM MACDONALD

Behavior Fate Fools Ignorance Tragedy
I generally have a real strong idea or a strong punchline, and I just try to get to it by rambling around, as I don’t like to memorize words.
NORM MACDONALD

Ideas Memories Myself Reality Strong Word
I don’t have any ambition.
NORM MACDONALD

Ambition Myself One Liner
The joy a person is usually seen to express at the conversion of another to his opinion is seldom more than the impulse of egotistical satisfaction at being considered worthy of didactic imitation.
NORM MACDONALD

Ego Expression Imitation Joy Opinion Person Satisfaction See Worth
A lot of writers come from Harvard and such, and are rich, and they write under the misapprehension that poor people are stupid. So when they do write them, they are hillbillies or rednecks or Christian idiots.
NORM MACDONALD

Education Idiot People Poor Rich Stupidity Writing
I want you to buy this pit bull. This will protect your valuables.’ I don’t own anything very valuable. If I buy the pit bull, that would be the most valuable thing I own. I’d have to buy something to protect it then.
NORM MACDONALD

Dog Funny Material Myself Protection Value
Reason is always weak where prejudice is strong.
NORM MACDONALD

Philosophy Prejudice Reason Strong Weakness
This would have been a great game to watch if we didn’t have any money on it.
NORM MACDONALD

Game Greatness Money
Many frequently change their principles, but seldom their practices.
NORM MACDONALD

Action Change Practice Principle Thinking

Comedy is surprises, so if you’re intending to make somebody laugh and they don’t laugh, that’s funny.

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Comedy is surprises, so if you’re intending to make somebody laugh and they don’t laugh, that’s funny.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

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