“It was essential that I never show doubt about what I was doing.”

Through the years, I have learned there is no harm in charging oneself up with delusions between moments of valid inspiration.

It’s pain that changes our lives.

How to make a million dollars: First, get a million dollars.

I love money. I love everything about it.

The greatest thing you can do is surprise yourself.

I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things that money can buy.

No art comes from the conscious mind.

There’s no better way to learn something than to learn it in front of an audience. Your terror drives you.

The banjo is such a happy instrument–you can’t play a sad song on the banjo – it always comes out so cheerful.

A father carries pictures where his money used to be.

Don’t have sex man. It leads to kissing and pretty soon you have to start talking to them.

I was always very shy but as I get older I think, What am I being shy for? You just grow weary of your own hang-ups.

You can’t really conduct your life by one or two phrases.

Teaching is, after all, a form of show business.

The conscious mind is the editor, and the subconscious mind is the writer.

I just downloaded eleven hundred books onto my Kindle, and now I can’t lift it.

Elizabeth Taylor’s so fat she puts mayonnaise on aspirin.

I’ve always been really tall and lanky.

Women are never what they seem to be. There is the woman you see and there is the woman who is hidden. Buy the gift for the woman who is hidden.

God does not love sinners because they are attractive; sinners are attractive to God because he loves them.

I do want to look good still; I do want to be healthy.

I just thank God for Dennis [Rodman], cause he makes me look like a saint.

It doesn’t have to glitter to be gold.

If Michael Jordan was a damn plumber, he couldn’t get a date. Any guy got $500 million looks good.