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Note to self: no matter how bad life gets, there’s always beer.

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Alcohol Bad Drink Hard Time Life

Bagwalas

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Marilyn Monroe Paulo Coelho Abraham Lincoln C. S. Lewis Khalil Gibran Charlie Chaplin Gautama Buddha Isaac Newton

I want you to buy this pit bull. This will protect your valuables.’ I don’t own anything very valuable. If I buy the pit bull, that would be the most valuable thing I own. I’d have to buy something to protect it then.
NORM MACDONALD

Dog Funny Material Myself Protection Value
When people told the audience that [Sam Kinison] was good, he was accepted after that.
NORM MACDONALD

Acceptance Audience Goodness People
I don’t have any ambition.
NORM MACDONALD

Ambition Myself One Liner
Comedy is surprises, so if you’re intending to make somebody laugh and they don’t laugh, that’s funny.
NORM MACDONALD

Comedy Funny Laughter Surprise Yourself
The young compliment their greatness on the number of their friends; the old, on the confidence of them.
NORM MACDONALD

Compliment Confidence Friendship Greatness Young
They that are fated to be fools, have one consolation, that they are fated also to be ignorant of it.
NORM MACDONALD

Behavior Fate Fools Ignorance Tragedy
In estimating the adversities of life, we would seldom have much reason to complain of the evils we suffer, did we understand the dangers we daily escape.
NORM MACDONALD

Adversity Dangerous Escape Reason Suffering Understand
Chastity is oftener owing to diffidence and shame, than to fortitude of reason or virtue.
NORM MACDONALD

Philosophy Reason Shame Virtue
Yeah man, they call gambling a disease, but it’s the only disease where you can win a bunch of money.
NORM MACDONALD

Game Man Money Sick Win Yourself
Violent people usually express their love of a thing by their hatred of its opposite.
NORM MACDONALD

Behavior Hate Love Mental People Violence
I think clever people think that poor people are stupid.
NORM MACDONALD

Intelligence People Poor Stupidity Thinking
All that weak people learn from disappointment, is less confidence in future enterprise.
NORM MACDONALD

Business Confidence Disappointment Future Learning People Weakness
I can’t be naturalistic enough to make it sound real. So instead, I just wander around aimlessly knowing that I’ll be funny enough with stream of consciousness until I get to the actual explosively funny part.
NORM MACDONALD

Enough Funny Myself Natural Reality Sound
The praise we seek for our own virtues sometimes tempts us to flatter the imperfections of other men.
NORM MACDONALD

Imperfection Man Ourselves Praise Seek Virtue
Instead of loving your enemies, have no enemies to love.
NORM MACDONALD

Choice Deep Enemy Love Philosophy
I’m thankful for women. I think women are more intelligent than men. Also, without women, there would be no cookies.
NORM MACDONALD

Cook Intelligence Man Myself Thankful Woman

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