I don’t have any ambition.
NORM MACDONALDEnvy, like a false mirror, distorts the symmetry of the sweetest form.
More Norm MacDonald Quotes
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There are two indiscretions that generally distinguish fools: a readiness to report whatever they hear, and a practice of communicating with secrecy what is commonly understood.
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It is often better to be restricted to necessity than unconfined in the measure of our desires: prosperity destroys more individuals than adversity ruins.
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Chastity is oftener owing to diffidence and shame, than to fortitude of reason or virtue.
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Yeah man, they call gambling a disease, but it’s the only disease where you can win a bunch of money.
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There are two things at which most men are grieved: when their faults are exposed, and when their virtues are concealed.
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The first principle of solid wisdom is discretion, without it all the erudition of life is merely bagatelle.
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I got my computer. The great thing about the computer is that you only need enough money to buy a computer and some food, and you’re all right. I don’t have to go to premières.
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They say that if you’re afraid of homosexuals, it means that deep down inside you’re actually a homosexual yourself. That worries me because I’m afraid of dogs.
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Though we may not desire to detect fraud, we must not, on that account, endeavor to be insensible of it, for, as cunning is a crime, so is duplicity a fault, and if men dread knaves, they also despise fools.
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As evacuation eases the body, so occasional ejectment of passion seems to appease the agonies of the soul, and dispose to tranquility the agitations of the heart.
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I’m thankful for women. I think women are more intelligent than men. Also, without women, there would be no cookies.
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Instead of loving your enemies, have no enemies to love.
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Liberty, like health, appears most precious when lost.
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The praise we seek for our own virtues sometimes tempts us to flatter the imperfections of other men.
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The young compliment their greatness on the number of their friends; the old, on the confidence of them.
NORM MACDONALD