Reason is always weak where prejudice is strong.
NORM MACDONALDEnvy, like a false mirror, distorts the symmetry of the sweetest form.
More Norm MacDonald Quotes
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Imprudent restrictions often force youth farther than enticement would carry them; and careless limitation is frequently worse than no injunction.
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You ever be having a really good dream, and then, uh- right in the middle of the dream you wake up, right in the best part of the dream? And there you are, back in your stinkin’ life again? Man, that’s rough, eh?
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All that weak people learn from disappointment, is less confidence in future enterprise.
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Though you may be last to discover your follies, be always first to correct them.
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There are two things at which most men are grieved: when their faults are exposed, and when their virtues are concealed.
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In math, you could get 100 percent. It was very fair. That’s what I liked about math. You could figure it out, and the teacher couldn’t have a stupid opinion about it.
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I got my computer. The great thing about the computer is that you only need enough money to buy a computer and some food, and you’re all right. I don’t have to go to premières.
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I always told everybody the perfect joke would be where the setup and punch line were identical.
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You can’t love your team without hating another team.
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It is vain to complain of fortune while we fail in policy and conduct.
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As evacuation eases the body, so occasional ejectment of passion seems to appease the agonies of the soul, and dispose to tranquility the agitations of the heart.
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They that are fated to be fools, have one consolation, that they are fated also to be ignorant of it.
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In estimating the adversities of life, we would seldom have much reason to complain of the evils we suffer, did we understand the dangers we daily escape.
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We often suffer more from our fears, than from the dangers of our situation.
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The most frequent cause of regret for what we have done is because its effects interfere with what we would do.
NORM MACDONALD






