Chastity is oftener owing to diffidence and shame, than to fortitude of reason or virtue.
NORM MACDONALDEnvy, like a false mirror, distorts the symmetry of the sweetest form.
More Norm MacDonald Quotes
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I generally have a real strong idea or a strong punchline, and I just try to get to it by rambling around, as I don’t like to memorize words.
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Ever see this? It’s a homeless guy but he’s got a dog… The dog’s really thrilled with this idea. The dog’s going, Hey pal, I can do this by myself pretty well. The longest walk in the world you got me on here.
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The young compliment their greatness on the number of their friends; the old, on the confidence of them.
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A great cause of evil in the world is that men seldom think themselves criminal if they offer the same injustice to others that has been successfully practiced on themselves.
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All that weak people learn from disappointment, is less confidence in future enterprise.
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In love, we are best pleased when we please others.
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The joy a person is usually seen to express at the conversion of another to his opinion is seldom more than the impulse of egotistical satisfaction at being considered worthy of didactic imitation.
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Though we may not desire to detect fraud, we must not, on that account, endeavor to be insensible of it, for, as cunning is a crime, so is duplicity a fault, and if men dread knaves, they also despise fools.
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We often suffer more from our fears, than from the dangers of our situation.
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Liberty, like health, appears most precious when lost.
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Hypocrisy is the outward acknowledgment of inward shame.
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A lot of writers come from Harvard and such, and are rich, and they write under the misapprehension that poor people are stupid. So when they do write them, they are hillbillies or rednecks or Christian idiots.
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Comedy is surprises, so if you’re intending to make somebody laugh and they don’t laugh, that’s funny.
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I don’t have any ambition.
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There are two things which a man should scrupulously avoid: giving advice that he would not follow, and asking advice when he is determined to pursue his own opinion.
NORM MACDONALD