Envy, like a false mirror, distorts the symmetry of the sweetest form.
NORM MACDONALDReason is always weak where prejudice is strong.
More Norm MacDonald Quotes
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In love, we are best pleased when we please others.
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Some people are so much afraid of being deceived, that they never venture to trust; like misers, their avarice destroys their gain.
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Ignorance is better than knowledge misapplied.
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Note to self: no matter how bad life gets, there’s always beer.
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Instead of loving your enemies, have no enemies to love.
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I want you to buy this pit bull. This will protect your valuables.’ I don’t own anything very valuable. If I buy the pit bull, that would be the most valuable thing I own. I’d have to buy something to protect it then.
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Imprudent restrictions often force youth farther than enticement would carry them; and careless limitation is frequently worse than no injunction.
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There are two things which a man should scrupulously avoid: giving advice that he would not follow, and asking advice when he is determined to pursue his own opinion.
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When I hear a guy lost a battle to cancer, that really did bother me, that that’s a term. It implies that he failed and that somebody else that defeated cancer is heroic and courageous.
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A lot of writers come from Harvard and such, and are rich, and they write under the misapprehension that poor people are stupid. So when they do write them, they are hillbillies or rednecks or Christian idiots.
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I don’t have any ambition.
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He that searches for praise will often find contempt.
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You know, with Hitler, the more I learn about that guy, the more I don’t care for him.
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I don’t really like politics that much. And I like the order and simplicity of sports. They have an ending. You can argue with your friends about it, but in the end you still like sports. I almost love the fantasy world of sports more than the real world.
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Flattery succeeds best on minds previously occupied by conceit.
NORM MACDONALD






