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Why doesn’t Tarzan have a beard? Why doesn’t glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

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Marilyn Monroe Paulo Coelho Abraham Lincoln C. S. Lewis Khalil Gibran Charlie Chaplin Gautama Buddha Isaac Newton

Someone asked me, if I were stranded on a desert island what book would I bring… ‘How to Build a Boat.’
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Abandonment Book Build Funny Myself Ocean Yourself
My friend has a baby. I’m recording all the noises he makes so later I can ask him what he meant.
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Children Friendship Himself
Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist but a person who drives a racing car not called a racist?
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Is it true that cannibals don’t eat clowns because they taste funny?
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Devil Evil Fantasy Funny Taste True
If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented?
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Discipline Funny Himself Person Time
I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met.
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Break Up Imagination Myself Relationship
Tell a man that there are 400 billion stars and he’ll believe you. Tell him a bench has wet paint and he has to touch it.
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Believe Funny Himself Man Stars Touch
Half the people you know are below average.
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Average Level People Yourself
There’s a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot.
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Idiot Ocean Stand Wait
For my birthday I got a humidifier and a de-humidifier. I put them in the same room and let them fight it out.
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Fight Funny Gift Myself Room
Imagine how weird phones would look if your mouth was nowhere near your ears.
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Appearance Imagination Phone Weird Yourself
On the other hand, you have different fingers.
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Appearance Different Fingers Hands
If a word in the dictionary were misspelled, how would we know?
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Literature Word Wrong
Why do you press harder on a remote-control when you know the battery’s dead?
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Control Death Game Yourself
I was sad because I had no shoes, until I met a man who had no feet. So I said, “Got any shoes you’re not using?
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Funny Man Sad Yourself
I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.
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Lost Myself Place Thinking

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