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Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.

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Conscience Funny Sleep Time

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Clones are people two.
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One Liner People
Last night I played a blank tape at full blast. The mime next door went nuts.
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If at first you don’t succeed, then skydiving definitely isn’t for you.
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If at first you don’t succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
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Destroy Evidence Success Try Yourself
Half the people you know are below average.
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Someone asked me, if I were stranded on a desert island what book would I bring… ‘How to Build a Boat.’
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Abandonment Book Build Funny Myself Ocean Yourself
My doctor told me I shouldn’t work out until I’m in better shape. I told him, ‘All right; don’t send me a bill until I pay you.’
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Better Doctor Myself Pay Right Work Yourself
In my house there’s this light switch that doesn’t do anything. Every so often, I would flick it on and off just to check. Yesterday, I got a call from a woman in Germany. She said ‘cut it out’
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Call Herself Home Light Myself Phone Woman
I couldn’t repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.
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If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?
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Eat Food Funny Human
I had some eyeglasses. I was walking down the street when suddenly the prescription ran out.
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I like to reminisce with people I don’t know.
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How come Superman could stop bullets with his chest, but always ducked when someone threw a gun at him?
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I went for a walk last night and she asked me how long I was going to be gone. I said, ‘The whole time.
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Funny Herself Myself Night Time Walk

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