Writer’s block is a fancy term made up by whiners so they can have an excuse to drink alcohol.
STEVE MARTINI was deeply unhappy, but I didn’t know it because I was so happy all the time.
More Steve Martin Quotes
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I thought yesterday was the first day of the rest of my life but it turns out today is.
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A father carries pictures where his money used to be.
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Always make room for the unexpected in yourself.
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How many people have never raised their hand before?
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It’s not what you know, it’s what you think you know.
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First the doctor told me the good news: I was going to have a disease named after me.
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It’s pain that changes our lives.
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Some people have a way with words, and other people; oh, uh, not have way.
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I believe the United States should allow all foreigners in this country, provided they can speak our native language… Apache.
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All I’ve ever wanted was an honest week’s pay for an honest day’s work.
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The conscious mind is the editor, and the subconscious mind is the writer.
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Despite a lack of natural ability, I did have the one element necessary to all early creativity: naïveté, that fabulous quality that keeps you from knowing just how unsuited you are for what you are about to do.
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When I die, now don’t think that I’m a nut, don’t want no fancy funeral, just one like old King Tut.
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Always do business as if the person you’re doing business with is trying to screw you, because he probably is. And if he’s not, you can be pleasantly surprised.
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I started a grease fire at McDonald’s – threw a match in the cook’s hair.
STEVE MARTIN