There is one thing I would break up over, and that is if she caught me with another woman. I won’t stand for that.
STEVE MARTINChaos in the midst of chaos isn’t funny, but chaos in the midst of order is.
More Steve Martin Quotes
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It’s not the size of the nose that matters, it’s what’s inside that counts.
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I believe in equality. Equality for everybody. No matter how stupid they are or how superior I am to them.
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Before you criticize a man, walk a mile in his shoes. That way, when you do criticize him, you’ll be a mile away and have his shoes.
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I love money. I love everything about it.
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I really enjoy finding the right word, creating a good, flowing sentence. I enjoy the rhythm of the words.
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Chaos in the midst of chaos isn’t funny, but chaos in the midst of order is.
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Despite a lack of natural ability, I did have the one element necessary to all early creativity: naïveté, that fabulous quality that keeps you from knowing just how unsuited you are for what you are about to do.
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Boy, those French: they have a different word for everything!
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You have to get comfortable with your work, you really have to know what you’re doing, and it has to be almost boring to you to be able to do it well.
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I started a grease fire at McDonald’s – threw a match in the cook’s hair.
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It’s not what you know, it’s what you think you know.
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A father carries pictures where his money used to be.
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I was deeply unhappy, but I didn’t know it because I was so happy all the time.
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First the doctor told me the good news: I was going to have a disease named after me.
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There’s no better way to learn something than to learn it in front of an audience. Your terror drives you.
STEVE MARTIN