You can’t really conduct your life by one or two phrases.
STEVE MARTINChaos in the midst of chaos isn’t funny, but chaos in the midst of order is.
More Steve Martin Quotes
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I just downloaded eleven hundred books onto my Kindle, and now I can’t lift it.
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Chaos in the midst of chaos isn’t funny, but chaos in the midst of order is.
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Some people have a way with words, and other people; oh, uh, not have way.
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How many people have never raised their hand before?
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A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.
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Acting has helped me understand people, not only because you are acting as a character, but also because you are watching other actors work. That really helps you identify in life when someone is acting, not being true.
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Don’t have sex man. It leads to kissing and pretty soon you have to start talking to them.
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I actually learned about sex watching neighborhood dogs. And it was good. Go ahead and laugh. I think the most important thing I learned was: Never let go of the girl’s leg, no matter how hard she tries to shake you off.
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The greatest thing you can do is surprise yourself.
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I’ve got to keep breathing. It’ll be my worst business mistake if I don’t.
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Writer’s block is a fancy term made up by whiners so they can have an excuse to drink alcohol.
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Now let’s repeat the non-conformists’ oath: I promise to be different! I promise to be unique! I promise not to repeat things other people say! Good!
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Thankfully, persistence is a great substitute for talent.
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Boy, those French: they have a different word for everything!
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I believe the United States should allow all foreigners in this country, provided they can speak our native language… Apache.
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I’m not trying to be a big shot or anything like that, but I get my drinks half price.
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Always do business as if the person you’re doing business with is trying to screw you, because he probably is. And if he’s not, you can be pleasantly surprised.
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Some nights, alone, he thinks of her, and some nights, alone, she thinks of him. Some night these thoughts, separated by miles and time zones, occur at the same objective moment, and Ray and Mirabelle are connected without ever knowing it.
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There’s no better way to learn something than to learn it in front of an audience. Your terror drives you.
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It’s not what you know, it’s what you think you know.
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You have to get comfortable with your work, you really have to know what you’re doing, and it has to be almost boring to you to be able to do it well.
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I was always very shy but as I get older I think, What am I being shy for? You just grow weary of your own hang-ups.
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How to make a million dollars: First, get a million dollars.
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I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things that money can buy.
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You know that look that women get when they want to have sex? Me neither.
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It’s pain that changes our lives.
STEVE MARTIN