My nephew has HDADHD. High Definition Attention Deficit Disorder. He can barely pay attention, but when he does it’s unbelievably clear.
STEVEN WRIGHTWhenever I think of the past, it brings back so many memories.
More Steven Wright Quotes
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I am writing a book. So far I have the pages numbered.
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Some friends of mine got me a sweater for my birthday. I’d have preferred a moaner or a screamer, but the sweater was OK.
STEVEN WRIGHT -
Half the people you know are below average.
STEVEN WRIGHT -
Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist but a person who drives a racing car not called a racist?
STEVEN WRIGHT -
I installed a skylight in my apartment, the people who live above me are furious!
STEVEN WRIGHT -
My dental hygienist is cute. Every time I visit, I eat a whole package of Oreo cookies while waiting in the lobby. Sometimes she has to cancel the rest of the afternoon’s appointments.
STEVEN WRIGHT -
When everything’s coming your way, you’re in the wrong lane.
STEVEN WRIGHT -
All those who believe in psychokinesis – raise my hand.
STEVEN WRIGHT -
Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
STEVEN WRIGHT -
Always remember your unique, just like everyone else.
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I went for a walk last night and she asked me how long I was going to be gone. I said, ‘The whole time.
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If a word in the dictionary were misspelled, how would we know?
STEVEN WRIGHT -
I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met.
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A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
STEVEN WRIGHT -
You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.
STEVEN WRIGHT