I wish the first word I ever said was the word “quote”, so right before I die I could say “unquote”.
STEVEN WRIGHTWhenever I think of the past, it brings back so many memories.
More Steven Wright Quotes
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I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.
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No one is listening until you make a mistake.
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I am writing a book. So far I have the pages numbered.
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Why isn’t the number 11 pronounced onety one?
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The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
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Plan to be spontaneous tomorrow.
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Last night I played a blank tape at full blast. The mime next door went nuts.
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I think it’s wrong that only one company makes the game Monopoly.
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Everywhere is within walking distance if you have the time.
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Why doesn’t Tarzan have a beard? Why doesn’t glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
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In my house there’s this light switch that doesn’t do anything. Every so often, I would flick it on and off just to check. Yesterday, I got a call from a woman in Germany. She said ‘cut it out’
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How come abbreviated is such a long word?
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On the other hand, you have different fingers.
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Whenever I think of the past, it brings back so many memories.
STEVEN WRIGHT -
I was sad because I had no shoes, until I met a man who had no feet. So I said, “Got any shoes you’re not using?
STEVEN WRIGHT