When humor goes, there goes civilization.
ERMA BOMBECKSome emotions don’t make a lot of noise. It’s hard to hear pride. Caring is real faint – like a heartbeat. And pure love – why, some days it’s so quiet, you don’t even know it’s there.
More Erma Bombeck Quotes
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The hippopotamus is a vegetarian and looks like a wall. Lions who eat only red meat are sleek and slim. Are nutritionists on the wrong track?
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Seize the moment. Remember all those women on the ‘Titanic’ who waved off the dessert cart.
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Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.
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Don’t confuse fame with success. Madonna is one; Helen Keller is the other.
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Some emotions don’t make a lot of noise. It’s hard to hear pride. Caring is real faint – like a heartbeat. And pure love – why, some days it’s so quiet, you don’t even know it’s there.
ERMA BOMBECK -
One thing they never tell you about child raising is that for the rest of your life, at the drop of a hat, you are expected to know your child’s name and how old he or she is.
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Have you any idea how many children it takes to turn off one light in the kitchen Three. It takes one to say What light and two more to say I didn’t turn it on.
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When you’re lecturing teenagers and they begin to hum and leave the room, you can sense there is hostility.
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Grandparenthood is one of life’s rewards for surviving your own children.
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One never realizes how different a husband and wife can be until they begin to pack for a trip.
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Onion rings in the car cushions do not improve with time.
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Women are never what they seem to be. There is the woman you see and there is the woman who is hidden. Buy the gift for the woman who is hidden.
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I just clipped 2 articles from a current magazine. One is a diet guaranteed to drop 5 pounds off my body in a weekend. The other is a recipe for a 6 minute pecan pie.
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A member of the committee slapped a name tag over my left bosom. “What shall we name the other one?” I smiled. She was not amused.
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When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, ‘I used everything you gave me’.
ERMA BOMBECK







