black
grey
blue
red
brown
white

I drink with impunity, or anyone else who invites me.

W. C. Fields

Some weasel took the cork out of my lunch.
W. C. FIELDS

Animal Food
The laziest man I ever met put popcorn in his pancakes so they would turn over by themselves.
W. C. FIELDS

Food Funny Man Myself
When life hands you lemons, make whisky sours.
W. C. FIELDS

Hands Life Yourself
My main ambition as a gardener is to water my orange trees with gin, then all I have to do is squeeze the juice into a glass.
W. C. FIELDS

Ambitious Myself Tree
Now don’t say you can’t swear off drinking; it’s easy. I’ve done it a thousand times.
W. C. FIELDS

Easy Time Yourself
I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.
W. C. FIELDS

Food Myself Wine
Comedy is merely tragedy happening to someone else.
W. C. FIELDS

Deep Reality Tragedy
Prayers never bring anything, They may bring solace to the sap, the bigot, the ignorant, the aboriginal, and the lazy – but to the enlightened it is the same as asking Santa Claus to bring you something for Xmas.
W. C. FIELDS

Gift Ignorance Peace Prayer Wisdom
I personally stay away from natural foods. At my age I need all the preservatives I can get.
W. C. FIELDS

Age Food Myself Need
Somebody’s been putting pineapple juice in my pineapple juice!
W. C. FIELDS

Food Funny
The nation needs to return to the colonial way of life, when a wife was judged by the amount of wood she could split.
W. C. FIELDS

Herself Judgement Life Nation Need Wife
A man without a woman is like a neck without a pain.
W. C. FIELDS

Man Pain Woman
The world is getting to be such a dangerous place, a man is lucky to get out of it alive.
W. C. FIELDS

Alive Danger Man Place World
The clever cat eats cheese and breathes down rat holes with baited breath.
W. C. FIELDS

Animal Breathe
I never eat before breakfast.
W. C. FIELDS

Eat Myself One Liner
When doctors and undertakers meet, they wink at each other.
W. C. FIELDS

Doctor Togetherness

I drink with impunity, or anyone else who invites me.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

I drink with impunity, or anyone else who invites me.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

More W. C. Fields Quotes