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I drink with impunity, or anyone else who invites me.

W. C. Fields

I only drink to steady my nerves, sometimes I’m so steady I don’t move for months.
W. C. FIELDS

Alcohol Myself
I used to be indecisive, now I’m not so sure.
W. C. FIELDS

Improvement Myself
Money will not buy happiness, but it will let you be unhappy in nice places.
W. C. FIELDS

Happiness Instagram Captions Money Place
I exercise strong self control. I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast.
W. C. FIELDS

Control Food Myself Strong
I’m looking for loopholes. (Said when caught reading the Bible.
W. C. FIELDS

Myself Religious
Everybody’s got to believe in something. I believe I’ll have another beer.
W. C. FIELDS

Alcohol Believe
A man without a woman is like a neck without a pain.
W. C. FIELDS

Man Pain Woman
I like children. If they’re properly cooked.
W. C. FIELDS

Children Food Myself
I drink with impunity, or anyone else who invites me.
W. C. FIELDS

Company Myself
I don’t have to attend every argument I’m invited to.
W. C. FIELDS

Argument Attitude Myself
Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.
W. C. FIELDS

Morning Smile Start
Just like my Uncle Charlie used to say, just before he sprung the trap: He said, You can’t cheat and honest man! Never give a sucker an even break or smarten up a chump!
W. C. FIELDS

Break Himself Honesty Man Myself Smart Yourself
Never try to impress a woman, because if you do she’ll expect you to keep up the standard for the rest of your life.
W. C. FIELDS

Expectation Herself Life Man Woman Yourself
Philadelphia, wonderful town, spent a week there one night.
W. C. FIELDS

Night Time Wonderful
Sex isn’t necessary. You don’t die without it, but you can die having it.
W. C. FIELDS

Death Necessary Sex Yourself
You can’t cheat an honest man.
W. C. FIELDS

Honesty Man Yourself

I drink with impunity, or anyone else who invites me.

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I drink with impunity, or anyone else who invites me.

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