black
grey
blue
red
brown
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I drink with impunity, or anyone else who invites me.

W. C. Fields

I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.
W. C. FIELDS

Food Myself Wine
My main ambition as a gardener is to water my orange trees with gin, then all I have to do is squeeze the juice into a glass.
W. C. FIELDS

Ambitious Myself Tree
The laziest man I ever met put popcorn in his pancakes so they would turn over by themselves.
W. C. FIELDS

Food Funny Man Myself
It is well to remember that there are five reasons for drinking: the arrival of a friend, one’s present or future thirst, the excellence of the cognac, or any other reason.
W. C. FIELDS

Excellence Friendship Future Present Reason Remember
Some weasel took the cork out of my lunch.
W. C. FIELDS

Animal Food
If I had to live my life over, I’d live over a saloon.
W. C. FIELDS

Life Live Myself
No doubt exists that all women are crazy; it’s only a question of degree.
W. C. FIELDS

Crazy Doubt Existence Woman
I never smoked a cigar in my life until I was nine.
W. C. FIELDS

Life Myself Young
I never drink water. I’m afraid it will become habit-forming.
W. C. FIELDS

Habit Mad Myself Weird
Philadelphia, wonderful town, spent a week there one night.
W. C. FIELDS

Night Time Wonderful
Anyone who hates children and animals can’t be all bad.
W. C. FIELDS

Animal Bad Children Hate
I don’t drink water. Have you seen the way it rusts pipes?
W. C. FIELDS

Destroy Myself See
Few things in life are more embarrassing than the necessity of having to inform an old friend that you have just got engaged to his fiancee.
W. C. FIELDS

Friendship Life Marriage Necessary Old Relationship
My illness is due to my doctor’s insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid they force down helpless babies.
W. C. FIELDS

Doctor Force Myself
I spent half my money on gambling, alcohol and wild women. The other half I wasted.
W. C. FIELDS

Alcohol Money Myself Wild Woman
When life hands you lemons, make whisky sours.
W. C. FIELDS

Hands Life Yourself

I drink with impunity, or anyone else who invites me.

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I drink with impunity, or anyone else who invites me.

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