black
grey
blue
red
brown
white

I drink with impunity, or anyone else who invites me.

W. C. Fields

I was in love with a beautiful blonde once. She drove me to drink. That’s the one thing I’m indebted to her for.
W. C. FIELDS

Beautiful Herself Love Myself
Sex isn’t necessary. You don’t die without it, but you can die having it.
W. C. FIELDS

Death Necessary Sex Yourself
Somebody’s been putting pineapple juice in my pineapple juice!
W. C. FIELDS

Food Funny
There comes a time in the affairs of man when he must take the bull by the tail and face the situation.
W. C. FIELDS

Face Man Time
Don’t worry about your heart, it will last you as long as you live.
W. C. FIELDS

Heart Live Worry Yourself
Some things are better than sex, and some are worse, but there’s nothing exactly like it.
W. C. FIELDS

Better Sex Worst
When doctors and undertakers meet, they wink at each other.
W. C. FIELDS

Doctor Togetherness
I have spent a lot of time searching through the Bible for loopholes.
W. C. FIELDS

Myself Religion Time
I certainly do not drink all the time. I have to sleep you know.
W. C. FIELDS

Funny Myself Time
The laziest man I ever met put popcorn in his pancakes so they would turn over by themselves.
W. C. FIELDS

Food Funny Man Myself
Sleep! The most beautiful experience in life. Except drink.
W. C. FIELDS

Beautiful Experience Life
Prayers never bring anything, They may bring solace to the sap, the bigot, the ignorant, the aboriginal, and the lazy – but to the enlightened it is the same as asking Santa Claus to bring you something for Xmas.
W. C. FIELDS

Gift Ignorance Peace Prayer Wisdom
A woman drove me to drink and I didn’t even have the decency to thank her.
W. C. FIELDS

Herself Thankful Woman
I’m looking for loopholes. (Said when caught reading the Bible.
W. C. FIELDS

Myself Religious
I don’t drink water. Have you seen the way it rusts pipes?
W. C. FIELDS

Destroy Myself See
Reality is an illusion that occurs due to the lack of alcohol.
W. C. FIELDS

Alcohol Illusion Reality

I drink with impunity, or anyone else who invites me.

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I drink with impunity, or anyone else who invites me.

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