black
grey
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You can’t cheat an honest man.

W. C. Fields

Never give a sucker an even break.
W. C. FIELDS

Break One Liner
I personally stay away from natural foods. At my age I need all the preservatives I can get.
W. C. FIELDS

Age Food Myself Need
Philadelphia, wonderful town, spent a week there one night.
W. C. FIELDS

Night Time Wonderful
Children should neither be seen or heard from – ever again.
W. C. FIELDS

Children Hate See
I only drink to steady my nerves, sometimes I’m so steady I don’t move for months.
W. C. FIELDS

Alcohol Myself
I don’t drink water. Have you seen the way it rusts pipes?
W. C. FIELDS

Destroy Myself See
I never met a kid I liked.
W. C. FIELDS

Children Myself One Liner
You can’t trust water: Even a straight stick turns crooked in it.
W. C. FIELDS

Belief Trust Yourself
The clever cat eats cheese and breathes down rat holes with baited breath.
W. C. FIELDS

Animal Breathe
Trust everybody, but cut the cards yourself.
W. C. FIELDS

Trust Yourself
The nation needs to return to the colonial way of life, when a wife was judged by the amount of wood she could split.
W. C. FIELDS

Herself Judgement Life Nation Need Wife
Alcoholic: anybody who drinks more than I do.
W. C. FIELDS

Alcohol Myself
Sleep! The most beautiful experience in life. Except drink.
W. C. FIELDS

Beautiful Experience Life
During one of my treks through Afghanistan, we lost our corkscrew. We were compelled to live on food and water for several days.
W. C. FIELDS

Food Live Lost Struggle Travel
This job will drive me to drink, and for that reason, I will be eternally grateful.
W. C. FIELDS

Drive Grateful Myself Reason
Now don’t say you can’t swear off drinking; it’s easy. I’ve done it a thousand times.
W. C. FIELDS

Easy Time Yourself

You can’t cheat an honest man.

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You can’t cheat an honest man.

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