black
grey
blue
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You can’t cheat an honest man.

W. C. Fields

Never give a sucker an even break.
W. C. FIELDS

Break One Liner
I didn’t squawk about the steak, dear. I merely said I didn’t see that old horse that used to be tethered outside here.
W. C. FIELDS

Animal Food Myself See
Reality is an illusion that occurs due to the lack of alcohol.
W. C. FIELDS

Alcohol Illusion Reality
I never voted for anybody. I always voted against.
W. C. FIELDS

Myself Vote
A man without a woman is like a neck without a pain.
W. C. FIELDS

Man Pain Woman
A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.
W. C. FIELDS

Man Money Poor Rich
Anyone who hates children and animals can’t be all bad.
W. C. FIELDS

Animal Bad Children Hate
I never met a kid I liked.
W. C. FIELDS

Children Myself One Liner
If you can’t dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bull.
W. C. FIELDS

Choice Inspirational Yourself
Marry an outdoors woman. Then if you throw her out into the yard on a cold night, she can still survive.
W. C. FIELDS

Marriage Night Survive Woman
Few things in life are more embarrassing than the necessity of having to inform an old friend that you have just got engaged to his fiancee.
W. C. FIELDS

Friendship Life Marriage Necessary Old Relationship
The clever cat eats cheese and breathes down rat holes with baited breath.
W. C. FIELDS

Animal Breathe
I’m free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.
W. C. FIELDS

Equality Freedom Hate Myself
I have spent a lot of time searching through the Bible for loopholes.
W. C. FIELDS

Myself Religion Time
When doctors and undertakers meet, they wink at each other.
W. C. FIELDS

Doctor Togetherness
Wouldn’t it be terrible if I quoted some reliable statistics which prove that more people are driven insane through religious hysteria than by drinking alcohol.
W. C. FIELDS

Alcohol Myself People Religious Sanity

You can’t cheat an honest man.

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You can’t cheat an honest man.

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