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Money will not buy happiness, but it will let you be unhappy in nice places.

W. C. Fields

The laziest man I ever met put popcorn in his pancakes so they would turn over by themselves.
W. C. FIELDS

Food Funny Man Myself
It’s a funny old world. A man’s lucky if he gets out of it alive.
W. C. FIELDS

Alive Funny Old World
Drat! Being the encapsulated view of life.
W. C. FIELDS

Life View
If I had to live my life over, I’d live over a saloon.
W. C. FIELDS

Life Live Myself
Ah, the patter of little feet around the house. There’s nothing like having a midget for a butler.
W. C. FIELDS

Food Home
Attitude is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than what people do or say. It is more important than appearance, giftedness, or skill.
W. C. FIELDS

Appearance Attitude Education Important Money Past People Skill
I don’t drink anymore, on the other hand I don’t drink any less either.
W. C. FIELDS

Alcohol Myself
I am an expert of electricity. My father occupied the chair of applied electricity at the state prison.
W. C. FIELDS

Father Myself Prison
Children should neither be seen or heard from – ever again.
W. C. FIELDS

Children Hate See
If you can’t dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bull.
W. C. FIELDS

Choice Inspirational Yourself
Some people are born losers; others acquire the knack gradually.
W. C. FIELDS

Born Lose People
I never smoked a cigar in my life until I was nine.
W. C. FIELDS

Life Myself Young
Few things in life are more embarrassing than the necessity of having to inform an old friend that you have just got engaged to his fiancee.
W. C. FIELDS

Friendship Life Marriage Necessary Old Relationship
There’s no such thing as a tough child – if you parboil them first for seven hours, they always come out tender.
W. C. FIELDS

Children Parents Tough
I drink therefore I am.
W. C. FIELDS

Instagram Captions Myself One Liner
Sleep! The most beautiful experience in life. Except drink.
W. C. FIELDS

Beautiful Experience Life

Money will not buy happiness, but it will let you be unhappy in nice places.

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Money will not buy happiness, but it will let you be unhappy in nice places.

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