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Money will not buy happiness, but it will let you be unhappy in nice places.

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Marilyn Monroe Paulo Coelho Abraham Lincoln C. S. Lewis Khalil Gibran Charlie Chaplin Gautama Buddha Isaac Newton

Alcoholic: anybody who drinks more than I do.
W. C. FIELDS

Alcohol Myself
I drink therefore I am.
W. C. FIELDS

Instagram Captions Myself One Liner
Some weasel took the cork out of my lunch.
W. C. FIELDS

Animal Food
I have spent a lot of time searching through the Bible for loopholes.
W. C. FIELDS

Myself Religion Time
Reality is an illusion that occurs due to the lack of alcohol.
W. C. FIELDS

Alcohol Illusion Reality
Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.
W. C. FIELDS

Morning Smile Start
It ain’t what they call you, it’s what you answer to.
W. C. FIELDS

Attitude Deep Yourself
Some people are born losers; others acquire the knack gradually.
W. C. FIELDS

Born Lose People
I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it.
W. C. FIELDS

Animal Myself Perspective Sea
Somebody’s been putting pineapple juice in my pineapple juice!
W. C. FIELDS

Food Funny
I never eat before breakfast.
W. C. FIELDS

Eat Myself One Liner
I never smoked a cigar in my life until I was nine.
W. C. FIELDS

Life Myself Young
I’m looking for loopholes. (Said when caught reading the Bible.
W. C. FIELDS

Myself Religious
I was in love with a beautiful blonde once. She drove me to drink. That’s the one thing I’m indebted to her for.
W. C. FIELDS

Beautiful Herself Love Myself
I personally stay away from natural foods. At my age I need all the preservatives I can get.
W. C. FIELDS

Age Food Myself Need
Sex isn’t necessary. You don’t die without it, but you can die having it.
W. C. FIELDS

Death Necessary Sex Yourself

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