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Don’t worry about your heart, it will last you as long as you live.

W. C. Fields

If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There’s no point in being a damn fool about it.
W. C. FIELDS

Fools Inspirational Quit Success Yourself
There’s no such thing as a tough child – if you parboil them first for seven hours, they always come out tender.
W. C. FIELDS

Children Parents Tough
Everybody’s got to believe in something. I believe I’ll have another beer.
W. C. FIELDS

Alcohol Believe
My illness is due to my doctor’s insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid they force down helpless babies.
W. C. FIELDS

Doctor Force Myself
I always keep a supply of stimulant handy in case I see a snake, which I also keep handy.
W. C. FIELDS

Animal Hands Myself See
Marry an outdoors woman. Then if you throw her out into the yard on a cold night, she can still survive.
W. C. FIELDS

Marriage Night Survive Woman
Take me down to the bar! We’ll drink breakfast together!
W. C. FIELDS

Togetherness Travel
I’m free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.
W. C. FIELDS

Equality Freedom Hate Myself
Don’t worry about your heart, it will last you as long as you live.
W. C. FIELDS

Heart Live Worry Yourself
I don’t drink anymore, on the other hand I don’t drink any less either.
W. C. FIELDS

Alcohol Myself
I don’t have to attend every argument I’m invited to.
W. C. FIELDS

Argument Attitude Myself
I personally stay away from natural foods. At my age I need all the preservatives I can get.
W. C. FIELDS

Age Food Myself Need
The only thing a lawyer won’t question is the legitimacy of his mother.
W. C. FIELDS

Himself Mom
If it is a joint return, we are instructed to print the given names of both husband and wife. But since some of the names that husband and wife give each other are hardly suited to print, we must proceed cautiously.
W. C. FIELDS

Care Husband Wife
The nation needs to return to the colonial way of life, when a wife was judged by the amount of wood she could split.
W. C. FIELDS

Herself Judgement Life Nation Need Wife
If pigs had wings, they would be pigeons.
W. C. FIELDS

Animal Funny Wings

Don’t worry about your heart, it will last you as long as you live.

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Don’t worry about your heart, it will last you as long as you live.

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