black
grey
blue
red
brown
white

Don’t worry about your heart, it will last you as long as you live.

W. C. Fields

Trust everybody, but cut the cards yourself.
W. C. FIELDS

Trust Yourself
The laziest man I ever met put popcorn in his pancakes so they would turn over by themselves.
W. C. FIELDS

Food Funny Man Myself
If I had to live my life over, I’d live over a saloon.
W. C. FIELDS

Life Live Myself
When life hands you lemons, make whisky sours.
W. C. FIELDS

Hands Life Yourself
I drink with impunity, or anyone else who invites me.
W. C. FIELDS

Company Myself
I have been advised by the best medical authority, at my age, not to attempt to give up alcohol.
W. C. FIELDS

Advice Age Alcohol Authority Give Up Myself
Anyone who hates children and animals can’t be all bad.
W. C. FIELDS

Animal Bad Children Hate
A woman drove me to drink and I didn’t even have the decency to thank her.
W. C. FIELDS

Herself Thankful Woman
I never drink water. I’m afraid it will become habit-forming.
W. C. FIELDS

Habit Mad Myself Weird
Somebody’s been putting pineapple juice in my pineapple juice!
W. C. FIELDS

Food Funny
Few things in life are more embarrassing than the necessity of having to inform an old friend that you have just got engaged to his fiancee.
W. C. FIELDS

Friendship Life Marriage Necessary Old Relationship
I never met a kid I liked.
W. C. FIELDS

Children Myself One Liner
I was in love with a beautiful blonde once. She drove me to drink. That’s the one thing I’m indebted to her for.
W. C. FIELDS

Beautiful Herself Love Myself
If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There’s no point in being a damn fool about it.
W. C. FIELDS

Fools Inspirational Quit Success Yourself
I don’t believe in dining on an empty stomach.
W. C. FIELDS

Believe Empty Food Myself Weird
I don’t drink anymore, on the other hand I don’t drink any less either.
W. C. FIELDS

Alcohol Myself

Don’t worry about your heart, it will last you as long as you live.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

Don’t worry about your heart, it will last you as long as you live.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

More W. C. Fields Quotes