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You can fool some of the people some of the time and that’s enough to make a decent living.

W. C. Fields

Sleep! The most beautiful experience in life. Except drink.
W. C. FIELDS

Beautiful Experience Life
Wouldn’t it be terrible if I quoted some reliable statistics which prove that more people are driven insane through religious hysteria than by drinking alcohol.
W. C. FIELDS

Alcohol Myself People Religious Sanity
Was I in here last night and did I spend a $20 bill? Oh, thank goodness… I thought I’d lost it.
W. C. FIELDS

Goodness Lost Myself Night Thankful
Ah, the patter of little feet around the house. There’s nothing like having a midget for a butler.
W. C. FIELDS

Food Home
Yes I do like children, Girl children, about eighteen or twenty.
W. C. FIELDS

Children Myself Woman
I don’t have to attend every argument I’m invited to.
W. C. FIELDS

Argument Attitude Myself
Drat! Being the encapsulated view of life.
W. C. FIELDS

Life View
I exercise strong self control. I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast.
W. C. FIELDS

Control Food Myself Strong
Try till you succeed, if you don’t succeed once, then destroy all evidence of the fact that you tried!
W. C. FIELDS

Destroy Evidence Success Yourself
Somebody’s been putting pineapple juice in my pineapple juice!
W. C. FIELDS

Food Funny
If I had to live my life over, I’d live over a saloon.
W. C. FIELDS

Life Live Myself
I’m looking for loopholes. (Said when caught reading the Bible.
W. C. FIELDS

Myself Religious
I don’t drink anymore, on the other hand I don’t drink any less either.
W. C. FIELDS

Alcohol Myself
Trust everybody, but cut the cards yourself.
W. C. FIELDS

Trust Yourself
The only thing a lawyer won’t question is the legitimacy of his mother.
W. C. FIELDS

Himself Mom
I was in love with a beautiful blonde once. She drove me to drink. That’s the one thing I’m indebted to her for.
W. C. FIELDS

Beautiful Herself Love Myself

You can fool some of the people some of the time and that’s enough to make a decent living.

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You can fool some of the people some of the time and that’s enough to make a decent living.

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