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You can fool some of the people some of the time and that’s enough to make a decent living.

W. C. Fields

Comedy is merely tragedy happening to someone else.
W. C. FIELDS

Deep Reality Tragedy
A man without a woman is like a neck without a pain.
W. C. FIELDS

Man Pain Woman
Drat! Being the encapsulated view of life.
W. C. FIELDS

Life View
It is well to remember that there are five reasons for drinking: the arrival of a friend, one’s present or future thirst, the excellence of the cognac, or any other reason.
W. C. FIELDS

Excellence Friendship Future Present Reason Remember
I never smoked a cigar in my life until I was nine.
W. C. FIELDS

Life Myself Young
The world is getting to be such a dangerous place, a man is lucky to get out of it alive.
W. C. FIELDS

Alive Danger Man Place World
If pigs had wings, they would be pigeons.
W. C. FIELDS

Animal Funny Wings
I never drink water. I’m afraid it will become habit-forming.
W. C. FIELDS

Habit Mad Myself Weird
Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.
W. C. FIELDS

Morning Smile Start
I don’t drink water. Have you seen the way it rusts pipes?
W. C. FIELDS

Destroy Myself See
I certainly do not drink all the time. I have to sleep you know.
W. C. FIELDS

Funny Myself Time
Christmas at my house is always at least six or seven times more pleasant than anywhere else. We start drinking early. And while everyone else is seeing only one Santa Claus, we’ll be seeing six or seven.
W. C. FIELDS

Funny Home Start Time
Take me down to the bar! We’ll drink breakfast together!
W. C. FIELDS

Togetherness Travel
Reality is an illusion that occurs due to the lack of alcohol.
W. C. FIELDS

Alcohol Illusion Reality
I was in love with a beautiful blonde once. She drove me to drink. That’s the one thing I’m indebted to her for.
W. C. FIELDS

Beautiful Herself Love Myself
Sleep! The most beautiful experience in life. Except drink.
W. C. FIELDS

Beautiful Experience Life

You can fool some of the people some of the time and that’s enough to make a decent living.

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You can fool some of the people some of the time and that’s enough to make a decent living.

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