Some things are better than sex, and some are worse, but there’s nothing exactly like it.
W. C. FIELDSSome people are born losers; others acquire the knack gradually.
More W. C. Fields Quotes
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No doubt exists that all women are crazy; it’s only a question of degree.
W. C. FIELDS -
When life hands you lemons, make whisky sours.
W. C. FIELDS -
I must have a drink of breakfast.
W. C. FIELDS -
When doctors and undertakers meet, they wink at each other.
W. C. FIELDS -
I’m free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.
W. C. FIELDS -
My main ambition as a gardener is to water my orange trees with gin, then all I have to do is squeeze the juice into a glass.
W. C. FIELDS -
Comedy is a serious business. A serious business with only one purpose -to make people laugh.
W. C. FIELDS -
I like children. If they’re properly cooked.
W. C. FIELDS -
Sleep! The most beautiful experience in life. Except drink.
W. C. FIELDS -
Don’t worry about your heart, it will last you as long as you live.
W. C. FIELDS -
Just like my Uncle Charlie used to say, just before he sprung the trap: He said, You can’t cheat and honest man! Never give a sucker an even break or smarten up a chump!
W. C. FIELDS -
It’s a funny old world. A man’s lucky if he gets out of it alive.
W. C. FIELDS -
A thing worth having is a thing worth cheating for.
W. C. FIELDS -
Somebody’s been putting pineapple juice in my pineapple juice!
W. C. FIELDS -
If you can’t dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bull.
W. C. FIELDS