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Some people are born losers; others acquire the knack gradually.

W. C. Fields

I always keep a supply of stimulant handy in case I see a snake, which I also keep handy.
W. C. FIELDS

Animal Hands Myself See
I don’t believe in dining on an empty stomach.
W. C. FIELDS

Believe Empty Food Myself Weird
When doctors and undertakers meet, they wink at each other.
W. C. FIELDS

Doctor Togetherness
I don’t drink anymore, on the other hand I don’t drink any less either.
W. C. FIELDS

Alcohol Myself
Never give a sucker an even break.
W. C. FIELDS

Break One Liner
Money will not buy happiness, but it will let you be unhappy in nice places.
W. C. FIELDS

Happiness Instagram Captions Money Place
If pigs had wings, they would be pigeons.
W. C. FIELDS

Animal Funny Wings
When we have lost everything, including hope, life becomes a disgrace, and death a duty.
W. C. FIELDS

Death Hope Life Lost
Anyone who hates children and animals can’t be all bad.
W. C. FIELDS

Animal Bad Children Hate
A thing worth having is a thing worth cheating for.
W. C. FIELDS

Worth Wrong
The clever cat eats cheese and breathes down rat holes with baited breath.
W. C. FIELDS

Animal Breathe
I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.
W. C. FIELDS

Food Myself Wine
I am an expert of electricity. My father occupied the chair of applied electricity at the state prison.
W. C. FIELDS

Father Myself Prison
Try till you succeed, if you don’t succeed once, then destroy all evidence of the fact that you tried!
W. C. FIELDS

Destroy Evidence Success Yourself
Never try to impress a woman, because if you do she’ll expect you to keep up the standard for the rest of your life.
W. C. FIELDS

Expectation Herself Life Man Woman Yourself
A woman drove me to drink and I didn’t even have the decency to thank her.
W. C. FIELDS

Herself Thankful Woman

Some people are born losers; others acquire the knack gradually.

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Some people are born losers; others acquire the knack gradually.

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