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Some people are born losers; others acquire the knack gradually.

W. C. Fields

During one of my treks through Afghanistan, we lost our corkscrew. We were compelled to live on food and water for several days.
W. C. FIELDS

Food Live Lost Struggle Travel
If it does not work the first time, try, try again. Then quit. No need to be an idiot.
W. C. FIELDS

Need Quit Stupidity Time
Try till you succeed, if you don’t succeed once, then destroy all evidence of the fact that you tried!
W. C. FIELDS

Destroy Evidence Success Yourself
Few things in life are more embarrassing than the necessity of having to inform an old friend that you have just got engaged to his fiancee.
W. C. FIELDS

Friendship Life Marriage Necessary Old Relationship
When we have lost everything, including hope, life becomes a disgrace, and death a duty.
W. C. FIELDS

Death Hope Life Lost
I used to be indecisive, now I’m not so sure.
W. C. FIELDS

Improvement Myself
My illness is due to my doctor’s insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid they force down helpless babies.
W. C. FIELDS

Doctor Force Myself
Children should neither be seen or heard from – ever again.
W. C. FIELDS

Children Hate See
You can’t cheat an honest man.
W. C. FIELDS

Honesty Man Yourself
A thing worth having is a thing worth cheating for.
W. C. FIELDS

Worth Wrong
Everybody’s got to believe in something. I believe I’ll have another beer.
W. C. FIELDS

Alcohol Believe
Money will not buy happiness, but it will let you be unhappy in nice places.
W. C. FIELDS

Happiness Instagram Captions Money Place
When doctors and undertakers meet, they wink at each other.
W. C. FIELDS

Doctor Togetherness
I spent half my money on gambling, alcohol and wild women. The other half I wasted.
W. C. FIELDS

Alcohol Money Myself Wild Woman
If I had to live my life over, I’d live over a saloon.
W. C. FIELDS

Life Live Myself
I certainly do not drink all the time. I have to sleep you know.
W. C. FIELDS

Funny Myself Time

Some people are born losers; others acquire the knack gradually.

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Some people are born losers; others acquire the knack gradually.

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