During one of my treks through Afghanistan, we lost our corkscrew. We were compelled to live on food and water for several days.
W. C. FIELDSSome people are born losers; others acquire the knack gradually.
More W. C. Fields Quotes
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If it does not work the first time, try, try again. Then quit. No need to be an idiot.
W. C. FIELDS -
Try till you succeed, if you don’t succeed once, then destroy all evidence of the fact that you tried!
W. C. FIELDS -
Few things in life are more embarrassing than the necessity of having to inform an old friend that you have just got engaged to his fiancee.
W. C. FIELDS -
When we have lost everything, including hope, life becomes a disgrace, and death a duty.
W. C. FIELDS -
I used to be indecisive, now I’m not so sure.
W. C. FIELDS -
My illness is due to my doctor’s insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid they force down helpless babies.
W. C. FIELDS -
Children should neither be seen or heard from – ever again.
W. C. FIELDS -
You can’t cheat an honest man.
W. C. FIELDS -
A thing worth having is a thing worth cheating for.
W. C. FIELDS -
Everybody’s got to believe in something. I believe I’ll have another beer.
W. C. FIELDS -
Money will not buy happiness, but it will let you be unhappy in nice places.
W. C. FIELDS -
When doctors and undertakers meet, they wink at each other.
W. C. FIELDS -
I spent half my money on gambling, alcohol and wild women. The other half I wasted.
W. C. FIELDS -
If I had to live my life over, I’d live over a saloon.
W. C. FIELDS -
I certainly do not drink all the time. I have to sleep you know.
W. C. FIELDS