black
grey
blue
red
brown
white

Yes I do like children, Girl children, about eighteen or twenty.

W. C. Fields

Christmas at my house is always at least six or seven times more pleasant than anywhere else. We start drinking early. And while everyone else is seeing only one Santa Claus, we’ll be seeing six or seven.
W. C. FIELDS

Funny Home Start Time
Some weasel took the cork out of my lunch.
W. C. FIELDS

Animal Food
When you wake up in the morning, smile – and get it over with.
W. C. FIELDS

Morning Smile Wake Up Yourself
Never give a sucker an even break.
W. C. FIELDS

Break One Liner
The only thing a lawyer won’t question is the legitimacy of his mother.
W. C. FIELDS

Himself Mom
When life hands you lemons, make whisky sours.
W. C. FIELDS

Hands Life Yourself
The clever cat eats cheese and breathes down rat holes with baited breath.
W. C. FIELDS

Animal Breathe
If I had to live my life over, I’d live over a saloon.
W. C. FIELDS

Life Live Myself
Never try to impress a woman, because if you do she’ll expect you to keep up the standard for the rest of your life.
W. C. FIELDS

Expectation Herself Life Man Woman Yourself
A woman drove me to drink and I didn’t even have the decency to thank her.
W. C. FIELDS

Herself Thankful Woman
If pigs had wings, they would be pigeons.
W. C. FIELDS

Animal Funny Wings
Reality is an illusion that occurs due to the lack of alcohol.
W. C. FIELDS

Alcohol Illusion Reality
Marry an outdoors woman. Then if you throw her out into the yard on a cold night, she can still survive.
W. C. FIELDS

Marriage Night Survive Woman
This job will drive me to drink, and for that reason, I will be eternally grateful.
W. C. FIELDS

Drive Grateful Myself Reason
I’m free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.
W. C. FIELDS

Equality Freedom Hate Myself
Yes I do like children, Girl children, about eighteen or twenty.
W. C. FIELDS

Children Myself Woman

Yes I do like children, Girl children, about eighteen or twenty.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

Yes I do like children, Girl children, about eighteen or twenty.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

More W. C. Fields Quotes