A woman drove me to drink and I didn’t even have the decency to thank her.
W. C. FIELDSA woman drove me to drink and I didn’t even have the decency to thank her.
W. C. FIELDSBeer: Helping ugly people have sex since 3000 B. C.
W. C. FIELDSI cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.
W. C. FIELDSI must have a drink of breakfast.
W. C. FIELDSI never drink water. I’m afraid it will become habit-forming.
W. C. FIELDSTrust everybody, but cut the cards yourself.
W. C. FIELDSIf I had to live my life over, I’d live over a saloon.
W. C. FIELDSI don’t drink water. Have you seen the way it rusts pipes?
W. C. FIELDSThe world is getting to be such a dangerous place, a man is lucky to get out of it alive.
W. C. FIELDSWhen you wake up in the morning, smile – and get it over with.
W. C. FIELDSI spent half my money on gambling, alcohol and wild women. The other half I wasted.
W. C. FIELDSWhen doctors and undertakers meet, they wink at each other.
W. C. FIELDSDon’t worry about your heart, it will last you as long as you live.
W. C. FIELDSYou can’t trust water: Even a straight stick turns crooked in it.
W. C. FIELDSIt ain’t what they call you, it’s what you answer to.
W. C. FIELDSMy main ambition as a gardener is to water my orange trees with gin, then all I have to do is squeeze the juice into a glass.
W. C. FIELDS