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Alcoholic: anybody who drinks more than I do.

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Marilyn Monroe Paulo Coelho Abraham Lincoln C. S. Lewis Khalil Gibran Charlie Chaplin Gautama Buddha Isaac Newton

If I had to live my life over, I’d live over a saloon.
W. C. FIELDS

Life Live Myself
I never smoked a cigar in my life until I was nine.
W. C. FIELDS

Life Myself Young
When doctors and undertakers meet, they wink at each other.
W. C. FIELDS

Doctor Togetherness
If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There’s no point in being a damn fool about it.
W. C. FIELDS

Fools Inspirational Quit Success Yourself
I used to be indecisive, now I’m not so sure.
W. C. FIELDS

Improvement Myself
You can’t cheat an honest man.
W. C. FIELDS

Honesty Man Yourself
I’m free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.
W. C. FIELDS

Equality Freedom Hate Myself
I personally stay away from natural foods. At my age I need all the preservatives I can get.
W. C. FIELDS

Age Food Myself Need
It’s a funny old world. A man’s lucky if he gets out of it alive.
W. C. FIELDS

Alive Funny Old World
Now don’t say you can’t swear off drinking; it’s easy. I’ve done it a thousand times.
W. C. FIELDS

Easy Time Yourself
I have been advised by the best medical authority, at my age, not to attempt to give up alcohol.
W. C. FIELDS

Advice Age Alcohol Authority Give Up Myself
When we have lost everything, including hope, life becomes a disgrace, and death a duty.
W. C. FIELDS

Death Hope Life Lost
Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.
W. C. FIELDS

Morning Smile Start
I don’t drink anymore, on the other hand I don’t drink any less either.
W. C. FIELDS

Alcohol Myself
If you can’t dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bull.
W. C. FIELDS

Choice Inspirational Yourself
I don’t have to attend every argument I’m invited to.
W. C. FIELDS

Argument Attitude Myself

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