black
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Alcoholic: anybody who drinks more than I do.

W. C. Fields

I never met a kid I liked.
W. C. FIELDS

Children Myself One Liner
Few things in life are more embarrassing than the necessity of having to inform an old friend that you have just got engaged to his fiancee.
W. C. FIELDS

Friendship Life Marriage Necessary Old Relationship
If it does not work the first time, try, try again. Then quit. No need to be an idiot.
W. C. FIELDS

Need Quit Stupidity Time
Comedy is merely tragedy happening to someone else.
W. C. FIELDS

Deep Reality Tragedy
A man without a woman is like a neck without a pain.
W. C. FIELDS

Man Pain Woman
Everybody’s got to believe in something. I believe I’ll have another beer.
W. C. FIELDS

Alcohol Believe
Some people are born losers; others acquire the knack gradually.
W. C. FIELDS

Born Lose People
There comes a time in the affairs of man when he must take the bull by the tail and face the situation.
W. C. FIELDS

Face Man Time
Never give a sucker an even break.
W. C. FIELDS

Break One Liner
Take me down to the bar! We’ll drink breakfast together!
W. C. FIELDS

Togetherness Travel
Drat! Being the encapsulated view of life.
W. C. FIELDS

Life View
I used to be indecisive, now I’m not so sure.
W. C. FIELDS

Improvement Myself
When doctors and undertakers meet, they wink at each other.
W. C. FIELDS

Doctor Togetherness
Ah, the patter of little feet around the house. There’s nothing like having a midget for a butler.
W. C. FIELDS

Food Home
I have been advised by the best medical authority, at my age, not to attempt to give up alcohol.
W. C. FIELDS

Advice Age Alcohol Authority Give Up Myself
A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.
W. C. FIELDS

Man Money Poor Rich

Alcoholic: anybody who drinks more than I do.

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Alcoholic: anybody who drinks more than I do.

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