black
grey
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Never give a sucker an even break.

W. C. Fields

The laziest man I ever met put popcorn in his pancakes so they would turn over by themselves.
W. C. FIELDS

Food Funny Man Myself
Sex isn’t necessary. You don’t die without it, but you can die having it.
W. C. FIELDS

Death Necessary Sex Yourself
Take me down to the bar! We’ll drink breakfast together!
W. C. FIELDS

Togetherness Travel
When life hands you lemons, make whisky sours.
W. C. FIELDS

Hands Life Yourself
If you can’t dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bull.
W. C. FIELDS

Choice Inspirational Yourself
It is well to remember that there are five reasons for drinking: the arrival of a friend, one’s present or future thirst, the excellence of the cognac, or any other reason.
W. C. FIELDS

Excellence Friendship Future Present Reason Remember
Everybody’s got to believe in something. I believe I’ll have another beer.
W. C. FIELDS

Alcohol Believe
If I had to live my life over, I’d live over a saloon.
W. C. FIELDS

Life Live Myself
If pigs had wings, they would be pigeons.
W. C. FIELDS

Animal Funny Wings
I exercise strong self control. I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast.
W. C. FIELDS

Control Food Myself Strong
Philadelphia, wonderful town, spent a week there one night.
W. C. FIELDS

Night Time Wonderful
I don’t believe in dining on an empty stomach.
W. C. FIELDS

Believe Empty Food Myself Weird
A man without a woman is like a neck without a pain.
W. C. FIELDS

Man Pain Woman
It’s a funny old world. A man’s lucky if he gets out of it alive.
W. C. FIELDS

Alive Funny Old World
When we have lost everything, including hope, life becomes a disgrace, and death a duty.
W. C. FIELDS

Death Hope Life Lost
I’m looking for loopholes. (Said when caught reading the Bible.
W. C. FIELDS

Myself Religious

Never give a sucker an even break.

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Never give a sucker an even break.

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