black
grey
blue
red
brown
white

Never give a sucker an even break.

W. C. Fields

No doubt exists that all women are crazy; it’s only a question of degree.
W. C. FIELDS

Crazy Doubt Existence Woman
Everybody’s got to believe in something. I believe I’ll have another beer.
W. C. FIELDS

Alcohol Believe
Now don’t say you can’t swear off drinking; it’s easy. I’ve done it a thousand times.
W. C. FIELDS

Easy Time Yourself
A thing worth having is a thing worth cheating for.
W. C. FIELDS

Worth Wrong
I have spent a lot of time searching through the Bible for loopholes.
W. C. FIELDS

Myself Religion Time
Somebody’s been putting pineapple juice in my pineapple juice!
W. C. FIELDS

Food Funny
Some weasel took the cork out of my lunch.
W. C. FIELDS

Animal Food
When you wake up in the morning, smile – and get it over with.
W. C. FIELDS

Morning Smile Wake Up Yourself
I was in love with a beautiful blonde once. She drove me to drink. That’s the one thing I’m indebted to her for.
W. C. FIELDS

Beautiful Herself Love Myself
I never met a kid I liked.
W. C. FIELDS

Children Myself One Liner
Ah, the patter of little feet around the house. There’s nothing like having a midget for a butler.
W. C. FIELDS

Food Home
I am an expert of electricity. My father occupied the chair of applied electricity at the state prison.
W. C. FIELDS

Father Myself Prison
Comedy is a serious business. A serious business with only one purpose -to make people laugh.
W. C. FIELDS

Business Laugh Oneself People Purpose Serious
The world is getting to be such a dangerous place, a man is lucky to get out of it alive.
W. C. FIELDS

Alive Danger Man Place World
There’s no such thing as a tough child – if you parboil them first for seven hours, they always come out tender.
W. C. FIELDS

Children Parents Tough
I never eat before breakfast.
W. C. FIELDS

Eat Myself One Liner

Never give a sucker an even break.

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Never give a sucker an even break.

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