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The laziest man I ever met put popcorn in his pancakes so they would turn over by themselves.

W. C. Fields

My main ambition as a gardener is to water my orange trees with gin, then all I have to do is squeeze the juice into a glass.
W. C. FIELDS

Ambitious Myself Tree
I drink with impunity, or anyone else who invites me.
W. C. FIELDS

Company Myself
Drat! Being the encapsulated view of life.
W. C. FIELDS

Life View
I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.
W. C. FIELDS

Food Myself Wine
I don’t drink anymore, on the other hand I don’t drink any less either.
W. C. FIELDS

Alcohol Myself
Now don’t say you can’t swear off drinking; it’s easy. I’ve done it a thousand times.
W. C. FIELDS

Easy Time Yourself
I only drink to steady my nerves, sometimes I’m so steady I don’t move for months.
W. C. FIELDS

Alcohol Myself
I exercise strong self control. I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast.
W. C. FIELDS

Control Food Myself Strong
I don’t believe in dining on an empty stomach.
W. C. FIELDS

Believe Empty Food Myself Weird
A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.
W. C. FIELDS

Man Money Poor Rich
I never voted for anybody. I always voted against.
W. C. FIELDS

Myself Vote
I didn’t squawk about the steak, dear. I merely said I didn’t see that old horse that used to be tethered outside here.
W. C. FIELDS

Animal Food Myself See
Comedy is merely tragedy happening to someone else.
W. C. FIELDS

Deep Reality Tragedy
I personally stay away from natural foods. At my age I need all the preservatives I can get.
W. C. FIELDS

Age Food Myself Need
You can fool some of the people some of the time and that’s enough to make a decent living.
W. C. FIELDS

Enough Fools Live People Time Yourself
During one of my treks through Afghanistan, we lost our corkscrew. We were compelled to live on food and water for several days.
W. C. FIELDS

Food Live Lost Struggle Travel

The laziest man I ever met put popcorn in his pancakes so they would turn over by themselves.

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The laziest man I ever met put popcorn in his pancakes so they would turn over by themselves.

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