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The laziest man I ever met put popcorn in his pancakes so they would turn over by themselves.

W. C. Fields

Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.
W. C. FIELDS

Morning Smile Start
I’m free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.
W. C. FIELDS

Equality Freedom Hate Myself
I never smoked a cigar in my life until I was nine.
W. C. FIELDS

Life Myself Young
I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.
W. C. FIELDS

Food Myself Wine
It ain’t what they call you, it’s what you answer to.
W. C. FIELDS

Attitude Deep Yourself
When doctors and undertakers meet, they wink at each other.
W. C. FIELDS

Doctor Togetherness
I’m looking for loopholes. (Said when caught reading the Bible.
W. C. FIELDS

Myself Religious
Take me down to the bar! We’ll drink breakfast together!
W. C. FIELDS

Togetherness Travel
Ah, the patter of little feet around the house. There’s nothing like having a midget for a butler.
W. C. FIELDS

Food Home
If you can’t dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bull.
W. C. FIELDS

Choice Inspirational Yourself
Philadelphia, wonderful town, spent a week there one night.
W. C. FIELDS

Night Time Wonderful
Comedy is a serious business. A serious business with only one purpose -to make people laugh.
W. C. FIELDS

Business Laugh Oneself People Purpose Serious
The only thing a lawyer won’t question is the legitimacy of his mother.
W. C. FIELDS

Himself Mom
Now don’t say you can’t swear off drinking; it’s easy. I’ve done it a thousand times.
W. C. FIELDS

Easy Time Yourself
If it does not work the first time, try, try again. Then quit. No need to be an idiot.
W. C. FIELDS

Need Quit Stupidity Time
Sex isn’t necessary. You don’t die without it, but you can die having it.
W. C. FIELDS

Death Necessary Sex Yourself

The laziest man I ever met put popcorn in his pancakes so they would turn over by themselves.

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The laziest man I ever met put popcorn in his pancakes so they would turn over by themselves.

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