black
grey
blue
red
brown
white

My illness is due to my doctor’s insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid they force down helpless babies.

W. C. Fields

If you can’t dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bull.
W. C. FIELDS

Choice Inspirational Yourself
I like children. If they’re properly cooked.
W. C. FIELDS

Children Food Myself
The clever cat eats cheese and breathes down rat holes with baited breath.
W. C. FIELDS

Animal Breathe
Sleep! The most beautiful experience in life. Except drink.
W. C. FIELDS

Beautiful Experience Life
I am an expert of electricity. My father occupied the chair of applied electricity at the state prison.
W. C. FIELDS

Father Myself Prison
Prayers never bring anything, They may bring solace to the sap, the bigot, the ignorant, the aboriginal, and the lazy – but to the enlightened it is the same as asking Santa Claus to bring you something for Xmas.
W. C. FIELDS

Gift Ignorance Peace Prayer Wisdom
Philadelphia, wonderful town, spent a week there one night.
W. C. FIELDS

Night Time Wonderful
Just like my Uncle Charlie used to say, just before he sprung the trap: He said, You can’t cheat and honest man! Never give a sucker an even break or smarten up a chump!
W. C. FIELDS

Break Himself Honesty Man Myself Smart Yourself
I exercise strong self control. I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast.
W. C. FIELDS

Control Food Myself Strong
The only thing a lawyer won’t question is the legitimacy of his mother.
W. C. FIELDS

Himself Mom
Drat! Being the encapsulated view of life.
W. C. FIELDS

Life View
Attitude is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than what people do or say. It is more important than appearance, giftedness, or skill.
W. C. FIELDS

Appearance Attitude Education Important Money Past People Skill
Never try to impress a woman, because if you do she’ll expect you to keep up the standard for the rest of your life.
W. C. FIELDS

Expectation Herself Life Man Woman Yourself
Was I in here last night and did I spend a $20 bill? Oh, thank goodness… I thought I’d lost it.
W. C. FIELDS

Goodness Lost Myself Night Thankful
Somebody’s been putting pineapple juice in my pineapple juice!
W. C. FIELDS

Food Funny
I don’t believe in dining on an empty stomach.
W. C. FIELDS

Believe Empty Food Myself Weird

My illness is due to my doctor’s insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid they force down helpless babies.

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My illness is due to my doctor’s insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid they force down helpless babies.

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