It ain’t what they call you, it’s what you answer to.
W. C. FIELDSMy illness is due to my doctor’s insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid they force down helpless babies.
More W. C. Fields Quotes
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If you can’t dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bull.
W. C. FIELDS -
I never voted for anybody. I always voted against.
W. C. FIELDS -
My illness is due to my doctor’s insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid they force down helpless babies.
W. C. FIELDS -
I like children. If they’re properly cooked.
W. C. FIELDS -
I must have a drink of breakfast.
W. C. FIELDS -
The laziest man I ever met put popcorn in his pancakes so they would turn over by themselves.
W. C. FIELDS -
Sex isn’t necessary. You don’t die without it, but you can die having it.
W. C. FIELDS -
Ah, the patter of little feet around the house. There’s nothing like having a midget for a butler.
W. C. FIELDS -
The only thing a lawyer won’t question is the legitimacy of his mother.
W. C. FIELDS -
A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.
W. C. FIELDS -
I’m looking for loopholes. (Said when caught reading the Bible.
W. C. FIELDS -
Comedy is merely tragedy happening to someone else.
W. C. FIELDS -
Philadelphia, wonderful town, spent a week there one night.
W. C. FIELDS -
I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.
W. C. FIELDS -
Money will not buy happiness, but it will let you be unhappy in nice places.
W. C. FIELDS