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I don’t drink water. Have you seen the way it rusts pipes?

W. C. Fields

I don’t drink water. Have you seen the way it rusts pipes?
W. C. FIELDS

Destroy Myself See
I drink therefore I am.
W. C. FIELDS

Instagram Captions Myself One Liner
Comedy is a serious business. A serious business with only one purpose -to make people laugh.
W. C. FIELDS

Business Laugh Oneself People Purpose Serious
Never give a sucker an even break.
W. C. FIELDS

Break One Liner
I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it.
W. C. FIELDS

Animal Myself Perspective Sea
Christmas at my house is always at least six or seven times more pleasant than anywhere else. We start drinking early. And while everyone else is seeing only one Santa Claus, we’ll be seeing six or seven.
W. C. FIELDS

Funny Home Start Time
Comedy is merely tragedy happening to someone else.
W. C. FIELDS

Deep Reality Tragedy
Some people are born losers; others acquire the knack gradually.
W. C. FIELDS

Born Lose People
If you can’t dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bull.
W. C. FIELDS

Choice Inspirational Yourself
Somebody’s been putting pineapple juice in my pineapple juice!
W. C. FIELDS

Food Funny
There comes a time in the affairs of man when he must take the bull by the tail and face the situation.
W. C. FIELDS

Face Man Time
It ain’t what they call you, it’s what you answer to.
W. C. FIELDS

Attitude Deep Yourself
Philadelphia, wonderful town, spent a week there one night.
W. C. FIELDS

Night Time Wonderful
I never eat before breakfast.
W. C. FIELDS

Eat Myself One Liner
My main ambition as a gardener is to water my orange trees with gin, then all I have to do is squeeze the juice into a glass.
W. C. FIELDS

Ambitious Myself Tree
If it does not work the first time, try, try again. Then quit. No need to be an idiot.
W. C. FIELDS

Need Quit Stupidity Time

I don’t drink water. Have you seen the way it rusts pipes?

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I don’t drink water. Have you seen the way it rusts pipes?

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